Our beloved friend Doug has passed on

[Ninshub]

I only wish I'd known, but obviously Doug didn't want us to.

As I said tim, Doug told me he intended to say his goodbyes himself and didn't get to. But yes apparently he didn't want everyone to know about his cancer, most probably (I'm surmising) to not burden anyone.

I feel for everyone here that it's hitting hard. I was obviously more prepared, it hit me very hard when I learned how serious the news had become and my grieving started then, and then I was starting to assume it had happened when I no longer was hearing about him. But now finding out the reality of it it's very hard again, knowing I won't get to talk exchange with him anymore and have his presence this way around.

It's a strange thing the internet because you can reveal things to people that you wouldn't necessarily even to your family and real-life friends, it creates another kind of intimacy. 

In another way, it feels like I'm gonna carrying him inside and so his presence is still felt that way.