Our beloved friend Doug has passed on

As I said tim, Doug told me he intended to say his goodbyes himself and didn't get to. But yes apparently he didn't want everyone to know about his cancer, most probably (I'm surmising) to not burden anyone.

I feel for everyone here that it's hitting hard. I was obviously more prepared, it hit me very hard when I learned how serious the news had become and my grieving started then, and then I was starting to assume it had happened when I no longer was hearing about him. But now finding out the reality of it it's very hard again, knowing I won't get to talk exchange with him anymore and have his presence this way around.

It's a strange thing the internet because you can reveal things to people that you wouldn't necessarily even to your family and real-life friends, it creates another kind of intimacy. 

In another way, it feels like I'm gonna carrying him inside and so his presence is still felt that way.

It's all very sad for us, isn't it. But for Doug, somehow I don't think so. Imagine the reunion with his wife and old friends. Actually it isn't something we can imagine, is it. Not from what I've been able to learn from people who've had a glimpse.

[Ninshub]

I'm taking the measure of how this news has come as a painful shock to some people who were close enough to Doug but didn't know about his health problems (the cancer). I'm very sorry about this. It's making me wonder if it would have been the better thing to do to let people know what he was dealing with to prepare them for the blow, but then I think I wouldn't have felt right doing that without checking with Doug first.

But perhaps I should have thought of that when I was still speaking with Doug, though, and asked him what he thought.

In any event, I'm very sorry for that sudden blow. I know it makes hurtful losses even more painful.

Didn't intend to come back to PQ but I saw this thread in passing and had to say something.  It's sad to hear of Doug's passing.  He seemed like a quiet, patient sort of person who opened up a lot towards the end by sharing some of his experiences with us.  This is a shock and it's particularly sad for those who knew him well.  I'm sure he will be missed.

Brian, I'm sorry if any of us, myself in particular, have upset you. I hope you'll reconsider and drop in occasionally.

Didn't intend to come back to PQ but I saw this thread in passing and had to say something.  It's sad to hear of Doug's passing.  He seemed like a quiet, patient sort of person who opened up a lot towards the end by sharing some of his experiences with us.  This is a shock and it's particularly sad for those who knew him well.  I'm sure he will be missed.

Yes, Doug was quite dedicated to this forum, he put in effort in the background to keep things running smoothly.

I think the personal experiences he posted were his parting gift, not just to us on this forum, but to anyone/everyone.

Hi everyone,
 
Unfortunately I’ve got some very sad news to share with all of you. Thanks to Laird reaching out to a neighbor of his because we had not been getting any news for several weeks, we’ve learned today that our beloved friend and long-time forum colleague Doug has passed away. Apparently it happened Tuesday May 28.
 
Doug, who used the name Trancestate back on the Skeptiko forum and before that on the mind-energy forum, is well-known to a lot of us (you).
 
I’m not very clear on the timeline, it feels like it’s been a long time already, but Doug told me, and maybe a few of you, that he had cancer. This was about a year and a half ago, I’m not quite sure. Late in the year it seemed the news might get better but at some point, maybe around February, the results indicated they were quite worse and it was likely only a matter of time.
 
I was lucky enough to get to know Doug very well and become good friends with him through the forums’ private messages and emails. We last « spoke » on April 21 and there was no indication that there was anything imminent. (Luckily for me, we were able to say our goodbyes, though, shortly before when the news became dire.) He sent me, uncharacteristically, a short, unfinished 1-sentence message on May 5 and then we didn’t hear from him again – we only know he last checked the forum on May 15.
 
I'm  sorry to some of you who may have contacted me in the last months and to whom I didn’t reveal what I knew. I didn’t want to worry anybody until we knew more. Let it be known that Doug had planned to say his goodbyes himself on the forum, based on what he told me, after he was finished posting his personal psi experiences (something he now felt ready to do knowing his time left here was short), but obviously he didn’t get to do so. (I know he gave me some to post in case he wasn't able to, and relatively soon I'll be checking through my emails and posting them if indeed he didn't get to.)

This is hard for me, as I’m sure it is for a lot of you who were friends with him also. Let me just say Doug was someone who I learned a lot from – not only because of his deep knowledge about psi and its history (which was significant), but as a person. I admired his intellectual rigor, his love and respect for getting the facts right and his appreciation for detail, his objectivity and interest in the truth, his great nobility of character and civility, and his ability to keep his emotions in check on the forum, quite amazingly so to me. I'm sure all of you have noticed these traits at one time or another.
 
But more than anything he was an incredibly kind person and an extremely present and caring friend. A great spirit with enormous heart.
 
Doug was also a founding member and administrator of this forum, hugely helpful, and his role here will be greatly missed also.
 
If it can console any of you, Doug was ready to go and had been for maybe as long as I’ve known him. As you may have glimpsed through what he revealed in his posts about his personal psi experiences, his life had not been easy for a long time. Without going into too many personal details, the last several years had been very difficult and there was not much left to enjoy, and a lot to worry about, made all the more difficult by his constant and intensely debilitating chronic fatigue.
 
Doug’s experiences convinced him that, in all likelihood, consciousness survives bodily death and he was completely at peace and looking forward to moving on. He told me how he surprised his doctors by his being completely unmoved and unworried about the news regarding his deteriorating condition - he got frustrated with them when they seemed to try to spare him and give him ambiguous answers! He seemed to bare it all with amazing grace. He wrote to me in one of his last messages that he looked forward to having "new adventures in consciousness".
 
I’m sure I’m talking for several people here when I say that I am glad for Doug that he is finally free from his many shackles and can continue on his journey. The only sad thing, for us and everyone who knew and cared for him, is that it means he has to leave us behind for now.

I'll miss him dearly.

I've been on my travels so have missing out days at a time with my visits to the forum so this is a little belated. I think your message above is exactly what Doug would have appreciated and I'm sure we all feel similarly. Bon Voyage Doug, old friend.

I'm sad to see him go as I always held him in highest regard and thought he contributed so much here and at Skeptiko. But I know he was looking forward to moving on and I believe he is well prepared for his next adventures  I think we'll see him again someday.

I'm sorry to hear of this. I enjoyed his company on the forum, reading his points of view and personal encounters with the strange, wonderful things that can happen in this world. The internet can still be a great thing can't it? Bringing like-minded peaceful souls together. 

Have fun in the beyond, Doug.

RIP, Doug. Enjoy the other side!

Brian, I'm sorry if any of us, myself in particular, have upset you. 

Not at all, It's just that I have learned more about myself than I care to know since I have been here.