I had a recent shock which has changed me.

Earlier this week my mum was rushed into hospital having difficulty breathing.  She had low oxygen and potassium levels and needed to be on a ventilator.  She had something on her left lung and they were feeding her antibiotics and blood thinners.  My brother and his daughter sat with her throughout.  We didn't know if she would recover and my brother had the responsibility of making the decision about whether she lives or not.  The doctors kept giving him hope, saying, "we can try another 24 hours and see" but my niece is a nurse and when she first saw the stats, she burst into tears.  Mum's heart was spiking throughout the night and she would gasp.  On Wednesday, palliative care came and saw my mum and her stats and decided to take the decision out of my brother's hands.  They gave her drugs to keep her comfortable and we knew she would go when she would go.  Later that evening she passed peacefully with people who loved her beside her.  I have alternated between feeling emotional and feeling like it hasn't really happened and I keep wanting to send things to her on whatsapp before remembering she is no longer here.

Life is too short and too uncertain to gripe and pick holes and we should make the best use of every second and be supportive of each other.  I have had a short spell on a "skeptics" forum and decided to leave because the conversations were rarely intelligent and full of ignorance and mockery.  I value this forum and the people here very highly even if I sometimes get frustrated with the foot-down certainty that is sometimes shown, and I intend to be more positive here than I have recently been.

[Laird]

I'm sorry for your loss. I'm also glad to hear that you value this forum and its members highly. I think we do have something special here, just as it sounds that your relationship with your mother was something special to you - as one would hope, although it's not always the case.

Sorry to hear of your loss, Brian. No matter what one thinks happens, the parting at death is a hard thing to live through.

Sorry for your loss...never easy to make these decisions or have the decision taken away.

My mother passed away in manner similar to yours, and I offer my utmost sympathy as I recall the emotional pain of those moments. It definitely set me on a complicated journey, one that I think has yet to see its conclusion.

That said, among her last words to me were an exclamation of surprise that everyone who passed on was alive. Apparently the loved ones who passed on before her came to take her away. I can't tell you if that was true, as I saw nothing myself, but it definitely provided a measure of hope.

Sorry for your loss Brian.

My dad passed away nearly 15 years ago now when I was just out my teens. The one thing I remember was the peace that came over him as we sat vigil and he finally went to the other side. 

Best

DD

I now have no biological parents and that feels very strange.  I'm going back to work tomorrow and I think the normality will help me get used to it but I don't know how I will feel when I visit England next month.  We are going to have a family get together in the home she was in as my brother is still in touch with her neighbour and best friend.

Hi Brian, I’m very sorry about your loss. I hope you find peace in the belief that there is something beyond this life.

Hi Brian, I’m very sorry about your loss. I hope you find peace in the belief that there is something beyond this life.

Thank you.  I know there is for me, I only wish I could know that my mum and dad would be there.  At least they are not suffering anymore.

Hi Brian,

It rather sounds as if your mother was suddenly taken ill. Although that was a big shock for you, wouldn't we all like to die fairly quickly when the time comes - so I think you should take some comfort from that.

From what you say, your mother did see her relations as she died. I like the consistency between those experiences and NDEs. I am pretty sure your Mum is out there waiting until it is your turn, and that you will all be together again.

My partner and I were not present when any of our four parents died. That is something I regret.

We all take sides about these issues here and bicker like crazy, even though we are talking about something so personal. Perhaps it would help if we all tried to remember the solemnity of what we are discussing.

I hope you continue as an active member here.

Sincerely, David

I hope you continue as an active member here.

Of course.  You won't get rid of me easily!