Some thoughts on the logic of 'Heaven would be boring' arguments

Is it not necessary at some point, to be our own teacher?

At any rate, for myself, I spent a fair portion of my life exploring this and that. After a while though, various ideas of others stopped inspiring me. I found more inspiration in following my own instincts. It has brought me to a place of peace.

I wish that were true for me. I have not found peace because I doubt. Doubt the teachers, doubt the philosophies and, most of all, doubt myself. The other day I thought I had grasped what Spira was talking about but I hadn't. My instincts are not distinct. I don't know what to believe.