I thought that since I wrote up my OBE method post on a whim I might as well write one up for energy and see what happens with it too. There’s many reasons I’ve had trouble writing up something like this. One of which is that it gets very hard to explain without talking exclusively in feelings and sensations after awhile. Another is that I’m constantly training and trying to learn more and improve so I’ll start writing down one method or one theory only for it to change the next day and make half of what I wrote wrong or obsolete. The best I think I’m going to be able to do is explain how I acquired it and how it feels to use it. I’ll throw in some theories and past life stuff that I’m hoping to test too, but beyond that I think everyone’s gonna be on their own. When I first sat down to write this I didn’t realize it was going to take or be this long. And that’s with leaving certain things out and not finishing writing up all my citation pieces. As always ask any questions you want, I’m not expecting anyone to believe anything I say.
The origin story is pretty lame. I was dabbling in things like trying to control my circulation. Take a cold toe, feel my heartbeat, and then imagine that the pulse was continuing all the way to that toe. Eventually that imagination would become reality and that one toe would be far warmer than any around it. Well I took that concept and started looking for other things in my body that I could try influencing that way, trying to go deeper and deeper all the time. Eventually I decided randomly one day to look for some part of the body that had no feeling at all. Ironically I found this in the middle of my head. In hindsight this is probably because the brain has no nerve endings. In any case I attempted to imagine some feeling there the same way I had been doing for circulation and then got this intense and unique buzzing feeling in return. That feeling is now what I recognize as my energy running.
Over time I learned that the feeling was localized and that I could move the feeling around a bit with practice. This eventually became standard energy control. Now I use energy daily, it is an inseperable part of my everyday experience. Despite this I have no idea why energy responds to my mind. There is nothing I have found in either current life research or past life analysis that gives me any clues to what the mechanism is. I’ve heard some interesting explanations though. The grandmaster of my kung fu studio sometimes seems to use the terms “chi” and “mind” interchangealby. Sometimes talking about using certain techniques to “inject the mind into the body” for example. However I’m not officially high enough rank to be taught specifics about chi and even if I was I’m pretty sure I’d be oath and contract bound not to discuss it here.
I’ve heard it described as your “inner reality” by a spirit. They described it as literally being your own laws of physics that you define and that magic is essentially tuning your physics to be in line with the external physics or “outer reality” so that one can affect the other. Otherwise they exist as two distinct things that can never interact.
A person I’ve reference many times that I call “Gold” who taught me magic in my past described two different forces, inner and outer, which I think might roughly correspond to the concepts of yin and yang chi or chakra. Inner force was your life force, it was the energy that your cells physically required to function. Playing some role in the chemical reactions themselves, perhaps providing the energy needed to breach some thresholds. Inner force was also said to be generated from the body itself, which was also what made it the body’s life force.
Inner force was very thick and moldable and responded to your will very easily. But using this energy would highly stress cells it draws from, interrupting cellular processes and causing cell death if the cell could not stabilize itself afterwards. Doing this over and over would destroy the body a few cells at a time, eventually killing you. Outer force, on the other hand, was a sort of micro aura around your cells that was the result of excess inner force. It was much thinner, easier to move, and would not hurt you if you used it. But it’s thinness made it difficult to mold and there was far less of it than inner force.
Her methodology was twofold, learn to condense outer force to make it identical to inner force, and draw in energy from the environment that you convert into your own to replace it. Getting the best of both worlds, all the control and power with none of the risk. She used to say this was the “old way” of training magic. The “new way” was channelling environmental energy directly, with no conversion. She believed that people got enamoured with the new way because it provided the user large amounts of raw power very quickly compared to the old way. But environmental energy can’t be controlled like personal energy so it’s uses were quite limited. She didn’t believe either system was truly superior since, according to her, you’d have to learn both eventually anyways. She just believed it was better to start by building magic into the body itself even though it took much longer to get results. Focusing on control so that, when you do start gaining more and more power, you have the control to not accidentally hurt yourself or someone else with it. As well as the control to get the results you want. This is the method I use to this day. If I ever continue writing my past life story thing I’ll be going into a lot more detail about all this.
According to past life knowledge “magic” energy kind of did and didn’t exist on the EMF spectrum. It was sometimes though of as the “Stem cell of energy” capable of transforming into any other type in ways standard energy tranformation didn’t do. This made it difficult to detect and measure at first but eventually a method was discovered. Eventually you could actually measure a persons energy via a simple blood test called a CESAT test(Cellular Energy SATuration) Which as far as I know measured the average capacitance of the cells or something and then extrapolated that out to what it should be in total for the whole body. I don’t know the specifics, I was never a doctor or anything. The environmental energy that we were absorbing most often was referred to as Ambient or Null energy. It was described as energy not currently doing anything and thus not detectable by conventional means. Since all traditionally detectable energy was moving or transferring in some way. It was stated that all observbable things in the universe comprised of a tiny fraction of the total energy, the component that was currently moving. The rest sat in a theoretically infinite inert pool. Stimulating this pool could produce incredible results, leading to the creation of infinite energy generators that technically weren’t overunity generators. But rather more comparable to a hydroelectric dam if the water was ambient energy in a lake that could never run dry since the dam just poured the water out back into the same lake it was drawing from.
Although none of this gives me any clues as to exactly why or how energy responds to the mind I do have a bunch of data on what tends to help or hinder function. Some people might argue that there is no mechanism because it’s just “you” but my data and experience say otherwise. Almost all aspects of how energy feels and functions that I’ve experienced matches my past life knowledge 100% and is part of why I lean far more to the side of believing the story rather than dismissing it as imagination.
Energy generally feels like a liquid. Although it doesn’t need to travel any specific path like blood does. Seemingly able to phase through the body like a ghost. Movement seems to be resisted by the body, causing tangible friction, heat and pain depending how hard it’s pushed. It feels like I hold a finite amount at a finite density although training has increased this over time. The denser the energy gets, the more “hardened” it gets as well. Eventually forming solid chunks or shards of what I call “calcified” energy. It doesn’t seem like energy has any discreet solid, liquid, or gas states. Rather it is simply a gradient of more or less dense and thus more or less flowy. Calcified energy specifically refers to energy that seems to be condensed because of emotional trauma rather than conscious intent. It’s largely useless and does little more than take up space that could be filled with directly controllable energy.
Pushing energy out or pulling it into my body feels like a form of breathing and I suspect this is why many traditional methods have such a strong focus on breathing exercises. Like breathing I feel the pressure decrease or increase depending on whether I’m pushing out or pulling in. I’ve been shooting for a state I worked long and hard to achieve in the past where I’m simultaneously drawing in energy as I’m using it. It’s quite the mind break because it literally feels like trying to breath in and out at the same time and is especially difficult when trying to do anything complex. But over time it all becomes a singular feeling. Achieving this gives you a functionally infinite pool of highly controllable energy. Your only limitation is how much your body can channel per second and for how long. At that point, mentally, magic is no different than muscle.
Working out my energy causes a very distinct and unique “burnt” feeling that is only associated with energy. The closest feeling to it that I can think of is being electrocuted, or having an internal sunburn. Like regular exercise you need rest days. The “wiring” of your body seems to rebuild itself over time and I always come back much stronger than I was before. The burnt feeling is limited only to areas that I was sending energy through. In my case usually my upper body, especially my arms and hands. Working it out doesn’t just increase capacity it also increases flow rate which is very important if you want to get any real world use out of your energy. It doesn’t matter if you have an ocean inside of you if it only leaves you as a trickle. Because of this it can be incredibly physically painful to try getting calcified energy out of my body as its sheer density makes it impossible to get out all at once. Depending on the density and other factors It can feel like a sharp, heavy vibration stabbing me over and over in the same spot. It is quite possible for it to burn me and leave marks from having been squeezed through my body which also acts as convenient personal evidence that it’s a real thing that has real physical effects. The most notable example of this is the “Machine Learning Snap”. The energy may be moving as a 3D sine wave as it feels like a string of beads being pushed out of me. I’d be interested in finding out exactly what frequency the energy vibrates at, I’m not sure what that information would tell me, but it’d be cool to have it anyways. I estimate it’s between 10-20Hz. High density is, of course, relative to the density your body can handle. It feels like I should be able to dump everything I have all at once but I just can’t get over some sort of threshold to let it happen. Energy training does not seem to be a good weight loss method, which is unfortunate. But can enhance other forms of physical exercise.
Energy seems to have a very direct impact on sleep. If it’s running on its own it will keep me awake at night. If I’m full I need much less sleep. If I’m low I’m extra tired for longer. Exactly why this is is completely unknown but supports the idea that sleep is somehow related to recharging energy.
It’s used as fuel for projections. Both to get me into the state and also for any magic I use in it. This can severely limit the amount of time I can spend in deep projection as energy will slowly drain just from being connected. There is a noticable dip in quality once the energy passes a certain point. This was not always true, back in 2009-2010 when I got into this by accident the first time I eventually got to a point where I could remain connected without any noticable drain on my energy, allowing me to remain more or less permanently connected at all times. As far as I can tell this was because I was eventually producing enough energy per second to compensate for the passive drain, cancelling it out. I got there by constant, daily projections as far as I can tell. But back then I was a lot more open minded about that stuff. I had a lot more reason to be as well since I was not always the one initiating projections, sometimes external entities would pull me into them for various reasons. So a lot of that practice was against my will. This was almost certainly a byproduct of being permanently connected and thus permanently “accessible”. These days I hate projection, never trust that it’s real when I try, Seems to be bad whenever it is real, and see no point spending any time doing it. Despite projection being the only method that I’ve had consistent, verified success with.
Especially thanks to poltergeisting, which has the same energy use characteristics. Suggesting that I am capable of some, in my opinion, pretty impressive feats of telekinetic strength and thus should be capable of things like flight given the weight of objects I’ve managed to move. What I’ve done in the “spirit world” has always been more technically complex than what I’ve done in the physical world, making it difficult to gauge if I’m stronger and/or have more control in one or the other. Most things seem to work the same regardless of the plane and only seem affected by my state of mind. Generally, the more “real” I think things are, the less I’m able to do. Based on this I‘m pretty confident that things work exactly as I remember them from past lives.
Meaning energy has infinite uses limited only by the amount of it you have, how good you are at controlling it, and your imagination. Applying energy in a specific way for a specific outcome is called “magic.” On one hand I should admit that my direct knowledge of what is magically possible is very limited. But past life memories give me a very linear path from very simple and weak effects to very complex and powerful ones. Best as I can tell the three most fundamental traits of magic are:
Movement- the ability to move energy with wilpower
Condensation- the ability for energy to collect in one place and gain physical density
Programming- the ability to “colour” energy with willpower to induce specific behaviours or reactions to external stimuli and retain such behaviour even after being detached from the mind. That might be a bit obtuse of an explanation, in practice you can think of this like changing the element of the energy. For example, at it’s simplest level you could program your energy to act like “fire” that heats things up when it touches them or “kinetic” energy that hits things like a solid object, etc etc.
Although it could be argued that all of these are really just the same trait, movement, I think it’s useful to split them up at least this much. Combining these three traits in different ways at different strengths allows a person to do literally anything they can imagine. Until their imagination is the only real limitiatation they had left. The rules that goverened someone doing reiki were the same rules that goverened someone creating their own universe.
I figured if this was true then it should be a simple matter of demonstrating the core fundamental effects to prove the rest. Movement was proven almost immediately after I first felt energy. Condensation was proven most definitively with the advent of poltergeisting in 2011 although my earlier work on wind and weather in 2010 could also act as proof. Programming was proven most definitevely with the Rose Rune in 2017 although proof also existed in 2010 as well.
This is very frustrating for Dreamsoap and I because we both know that I can do it. We know empirically that magic is real and that I have performed it at the strength that I want in the real world. Yet, despite that, I still can’t use it, and it’s been like this since about October 20 2015 when one of my purposeful poltergiest attempts came through where I shoved around a bunch of heavy metal deck furniture and placed two pieces in the yard as calling card to remind me that I did it. Thus proving definitively that I was indeed capable of doing these things at will to some degree provided I was in the right mental state for it. Although I’ve suspected it should be possible since about 2011 when I got my first confirmed hits on poltergeisting.
Magic, therefore, should be as simple as doing a short range poltergeist or “Local Projection”. If I can do things like flip lightswitches, turn on raidos, shove around deck furniture, knock boxes off of shelves and make self replicating energy balls from kilometers and/or weeks away then logically I should be able to do the exact same thing from only a few feet and milliseconds away. Especially since I developed the Weaver System back in 2010.
...And then I fried my entire chakra network in october 2010 and lost everything before it could really get anywhere...
There is no question that magic exists and that I can do it, nobody could convince me otherwise at this point. I’ve done far too much of it for that to be rational. The question is, why isn’t it reliable? Why can’t I just walk up to some random skeptic and make a crackling ball of energy in my hand or whatever to shut them up? What’s so different between all these things? I have more power and knowledge than I had in 2010 so what happened between then and now to make it not work?
Well... since Dreamsoap urged me not to give up on it and moved in at the end of 2013 I’ve been working on that. I came up with a 3 stage model for tracking my progress.
Stage 1: demonstratioon of accurate passive sensing abilities
Stage 2: Demonstration of direct, obvious, telekinetic or otherwise magical ability that are somewhat repeatable. Such as requiring a certain, hard to achieve mental state. Think of it like Sex Panther from Anchorman, “60% of the time, it works every time.”
Stage 3: Repeatable, on demand demonstrations of a variety of basic effects
I achieved stage 1 in December 2014 and made continual noteworthy progress towards Stage 2. I learned, thanks to the “Mother’s Day Incident” of 2015 that extreme stress combined with the belief/decision that I’d already lost and was probably about to die horribly could cause me to pull out some magic even in scenarios that I believed were real life. These “triggers” were a pattern I’d noticed many times before, both in this life and others, for myself and others. I was always at my best when I believed I’d already lost. Something about that mental state unhinged something and allowed everything to flow properly for a short time.
From that I developed the Fatalism Method to try to put me into that mental state on purpose, which worked, leading to the aforementioned deck furniture poltergeist. But, there were still many problems. What my sucesses proved was that magic at that level was possible and that I was technically capable of doing it at will, repeatably which is part of Stage 2. But… I did it through projection and time was more than a little out of synch with it. Meaning it wasn’t true Stage 2 but rather more like Stage 1.9. All the power, repeatability and obviousness of Stage 2 but without the direct in your faceness.
But I’d gotten similar strength effects from pure imagination as well, when I wasn’t even trying to or believing that I was doing anything real. Therefore, magic shouldn’t require such strong, uninducible emotions to work. There was somethintg common between the pure imagination hits and the fatalism hits that made them both work.
I determined that the commonality was my perception of the “authority” of reality. This had already been somewhat established through shared dreams and poltergeists. Dreamsoap and I had long noticed a very linear relationship between how much power, complexity, and finesse we could apply in our magic and how conscious we were in a particular dream or projection. The more “real” it seemed to us, the less magic we had. Making projections the best blend of power and control. They were easy to dismiss as just imagination… until you found out they weren’t. Hence the success of several oppourtunistic poltergeists. Stress and “giving up” seemed to reject the authority I’d given to reality about whether or not magic was real and instead focused my mind solely on my desired outcome. Therefore the solution should be to change my mentality.
During 2016 I spent time trying to figure out how to do that and what specific roles mentality and emotion had as they both seemed fundamentally neccessary. I struggled a lot with it. It wasn’t as easy as just telling myself magic existed since it wasn’t a part of my daily experience and any and all attempts at direct telekinesis failed, reinforcing the idea that magic either didn’t exist or required special training. It made me continually doubt evidence I’d gotten before and wonder if maybe somehow I was misremembering things or was just plain wrong. Even though there was good reason not to believe that. Eventually in the summer, August maybe, I asked Gold if she’d be willing to help me out. I knew I’d eventually be able to get it, but just to speed it along, it would be nice. She agreed and the next night she pulled me into a shared dream simulation she’d made. Gold’s always been my greatest source of veridical evidence for techniques and magic and this was one of those examples.
Although I understood the lesson logically, I have never truly been able to apply it properly in the real world. Partly because I lack any sort of proper context to apply it. It’s very easy when you feel like it just has to work or else. But out here in real life that’s rarely the case. Sure I could go pick a fight with a gang or something and that might give me the necessary stress to make everything work but it would probably fail. In which case I’d be lucky if I just died.
So I plugged away at it, Had the Machine Learning snap, Joined Skeptiko in the fall of 2016 to help with changing my mentality by exposing myself to other information about psi that I never knew existed, Had a couple intersting shared dreams in october and november, getting nowhere for the most part, until the end of February 2017 when Dreamsoap pulled me over to a rose plant that was sitting on a table and showed me that one of it’s stems was shaking like a metronome, getting me to feel the energy coming off of it which was definitively mine. Eventually realizing that this was the result of an earlier opportunistic poltergeist I’d done. Now known as the Rose Rune.
It was the very first time, post burnout, that I’d seen my own magic working right in front of me. It was also the most complex thing I’d done to date, it was certainly better evidence than the deckgeist was. But… it still happened during projection a week or more in the past so… not Stage 2. More like Stage 1.99.
I decided on a radical change of training regiment. I was no longer going to spend any time inducing shared dreams, doing poltergeists, or projection of any kind. I figured if I can do something like the Rose Rune, then I can do magic directly, and I vowed that the next thing I do would be hitting Stage 2. I worked on direct telekinesis again and once again got nowhere. I tried focusing on emotional healing stuff since I knew that was a major factor in all this. I got the offer for free acupuncture sessions and took it. It was amazing, it is the sole reason I am as far ahead as I am now. My entire perception turned around. I focused heavily on trying to change my perception of reality so It felt more like a dream, as per Gold’s advice. I came up with a theory that, if it’s true that it’s all about perception, then if I emotionally snap and try to use magic during that I should regain all my magic. I had doubts about this since it goes against past life experience stuff that says it’s not that simple. But at the same time I wondered if my situation was different, if maybe all I needed was the last push to let everything flow because I already have the experience and have demonstrated the ability and technique several times and several different ways in the real world. Also given the results of the Machine Learning Snap.
Well in December 2017 I had that snap, and although there was certainly more energy flow, it was interestingly bottlenecked and then outright blocked by something. It seemed like it just could not leave my body at that rate, even during a snap. At the time I concluded that it meant that the body had far too much resistance and that the reason poltergeists worked was because the energy was already outside of my body and thus lacked such resistance. A theory backed up by the issues I had during the Rose Rune among other geist experience. Past life experience seconded this, as I remembered that using a physical body incurred resistance that those using pure energy bodies did not have to deal with. But since energy bodies had a ridiculolsly huge weakness that made them not worth it (death by special EMP) we had to go through a lot of effort to modify our bodies to get rid of as much resistance as possible since by default there was quite a lot.
Since then I’ve been continuing my work. I started the new year vowing to make 2018 “the year of projection” believing that I needed to redevelop some of my lost skill in order to do short range poltergesits. However I’ve largely not done that. Instead I’ve had much more success changing the way I see the world. Going from “real” to an FTD to a hyper lucid dream to occassionally full dream states. I was amazingly able to develop a tether seemingly to my spirit body which changed my concept of how OBE’s work. More recently I’ve had several mini snaps or flashes where I will fully believe in magic and/or see the world as just a dream. During these flashes my whole approach to magic totally changes involuntarily. I can tell that there’s just no way I will be able to get results outside of that state. So my work has been focused on increasing the frequency of these flashes. On one hand I’m incredibly confident that I can do this but on the other it’s still frustrating. My hope is to finish this off as soon as possible, maybe even before the end of the year, so I can start doing real world demonstrations and teaching others. Although probably taking a bit of a vacation first.
My hope is that by sharing what I’m doing and my thought process behind it other people might glean something useful that they can apply in their own training.
The origin story is pretty lame. I was dabbling in things like trying to control my circulation. Take a cold toe, feel my heartbeat, and then imagine that the pulse was continuing all the way to that toe. Eventually that imagination would become reality and that one toe would be far warmer than any around it. Well I took that concept and started looking for other things in my body that I could try influencing that way, trying to go deeper and deeper all the time. Eventually I decided randomly one day to look for some part of the body that had no feeling at all. Ironically I found this in the middle of my head. In hindsight this is probably because the brain has no nerve endings. In any case I attempted to imagine some feeling there the same way I had been doing for circulation and then got this intense and unique buzzing feeling in return. That feeling is now what I recognize as my energy running.
Over time I learned that the feeling was localized and that I could move the feeling around a bit with practice. This eventually became standard energy control. Now I use energy daily, it is an inseperable part of my everyday experience. Despite this I have no idea why energy responds to my mind. There is nothing I have found in either current life research or past life analysis that gives me any clues to what the mechanism is. I’ve heard some interesting explanations though. The grandmaster of my kung fu studio sometimes seems to use the terms “chi” and “mind” interchangealby. Sometimes talking about using certain techniques to “inject the mind into the body” for example. However I’m not officially high enough rank to be taught specifics about chi and even if I was I’m pretty sure I’d be oath and contract bound not to discuss it here.
I’ve heard it described as your “inner reality” by a spirit. They described it as literally being your own laws of physics that you define and that magic is essentially tuning your physics to be in line with the external physics or “outer reality” so that one can affect the other. Otherwise they exist as two distinct things that can never interact.
A person I’ve reference many times that I call “Gold” who taught me magic in my past described two different forces, inner and outer, which I think might roughly correspond to the concepts of yin and yang chi or chakra. Inner force was your life force, it was the energy that your cells physically required to function. Playing some role in the chemical reactions themselves, perhaps providing the energy needed to breach some thresholds. Inner force was also said to be generated from the body itself, which was also what made it the body’s life force.
Inner force was very thick and moldable and responded to your will very easily. But using this energy would highly stress cells it draws from, interrupting cellular processes and causing cell death if the cell could not stabilize itself afterwards. Doing this over and over would destroy the body a few cells at a time, eventually killing you. Outer force, on the other hand, was a sort of micro aura around your cells that was the result of excess inner force. It was much thinner, easier to move, and would not hurt you if you used it. But it’s thinness made it difficult to mold and there was far less of it than inner force.
Her methodology was twofold, learn to condense outer force to make it identical to inner force, and draw in energy from the environment that you convert into your own to replace it. Getting the best of both worlds, all the control and power with none of the risk. She used to say this was the “old way” of training magic. The “new way” was channelling environmental energy directly, with no conversion. She believed that people got enamoured with the new way because it provided the user large amounts of raw power very quickly compared to the old way. But environmental energy can’t be controlled like personal energy so it’s uses were quite limited. She didn’t believe either system was truly superior since, according to her, you’d have to learn both eventually anyways. She just believed it was better to start by building magic into the body itself even though it took much longer to get results. Focusing on control so that, when you do start gaining more and more power, you have the control to not accidentally hurt yourself or someone else with it. As well as the control to get the results you want. This is the method I use to this day. If I ever continue writing my past life story thing I’ll be going into a lot more detail about all this.
According to past life knowledge “magic” energy kind of did and didn’t exist on the EMF spectrum. It was sometimes though of as the “Stem cell of energy” capable of transforming into any other type in ways standard energy tranformation didn’t do. This made it difficult to detect and measure at first but eventually a method was discovered. Eventually you could actually measure a persons energy via a simple blood test called a CESAT test(Cellular Energy SATuration) Which as far as I know measured the average capacitance of the cells or something and then extrapolated that out to what it should be in total for the whole body. I don’t know the specifics, I was never a doctor or anything. The environmental energy that we were absorbing most often was referred to as Ambient or Null energy. It was described as energy not currently doing anything and thus not detectable by conventional means. Since all traditionally detectable energy was moving or transferring in some way. It was stated that all observbable things in the universe comprised of a tiny fraction of the total energy, the component that was currently moving. The rest sat in a theoretically infinite inert pool. Stimulating this pool could produce incredible results, leading to the creation of infinite energy generators that technically weren’t overunity generators. But rather more comparable to a hydroelectric dam if the water was ambient energy in a lake that could never run dry since the dam just poured the water out back into the same lake it was drawing from.
Although none of this gives me any clues as to exactly why or how energy responds to the mind I do have a bunch of data on what tends to help or hinder function. Some people might argue that there is no mechanism because it’s just “you” but my data and experience say otherwise. Almost all aspects of how energy feels and functions that I’ve experienced matches my past life knowledge 100% and is part of why I lean far more to the side of believing the story rather than dismissing it as imagination.
Energy generally feels like a liquid. Although it doesn’t need to travel any specific path like blood does. Seemingly able to phase through the body like a ghost. Movement seems to be resisted by the body, causing tangible friction, heat and pain depending how hard it’s pushed. It feels like I hold a finite amount at a finite density although training has increased this over time. The denser the energy gets, the more “hardened” it gets as well. Eventually forming solid chunks or shards of what I call “calcified” energy. It doesn’t seem like energy has any discreet solid, liquid, or gas states. Rather it is simply a gradient of more or less dense and thus more or less flowy. Calcified energy specifically refers to energy that seems to be condensed because of emotional trauma rather than conscious intent. It’s largely useless and does little more than take up space that could be filled with directly controllable energy.
Pushing energy out or pulling it into my body feels like a form of breathing and I suspect this is why many traditional methods have such a strong focus on breathing exercises. Like breathing I feel the pressure decrease or increase depending on whether I’m pushing out or pulling in. I’ve been shooting for a state I worked long and hard to achieve in the past where I’m simultaneously drawing in energy as I’m using it. It’s quite the mind break because it literally feels like trying to breath in and out at the same time and is especially difficult when trying to do anything complex. But over time it all becomes a singular feeling. Achieving this gives you a functionally infinite pool of highly controllable energy. Your only limitation is how much your body can channel per second and for how long. At that point, mentally, magic is no different than muscle.
Working out my energy causes a very distinct and unique “burnt” feeling that is only associated with energy. The closest feeling to it that I can think of is being electrocuted, or having an internal sunburn. Like regular exercise you need rest days. The “wiring” of your body seems to rebuild itself over time and I always come back much stronger than I was before. The burnt feeling is limited only to areas that I was sending energy through. In my case usually my upper body, especially my arms and hands. Working it out doesn’t just increase capacity it also increases flow rate which is very important if you want to get any real world use out of your energy. It doesn’t matter if you have an ocean inside of you if it only leaves you as a trickle. Because of this it can be incredibly physically painful to try getting calcified energy out of my body as its sheer density makes it impossible to get out all at once. Depending on the density and other factors It can feel like a sharp, heavy vibration stabbing me over and over in the same spot. It is quite possible for it to burn me and leave marks from having been squeezed through my body which also acts as convenient personal evidence that it’s a real thing that has real physical effects. The most notable example of this is the “Machine Learning Snap”. The energy may be moving as a 3D sine wave as it feels like a string of beads being pushed out of me. I’d be interested in finding out exactly what frequency the energy vibrates at, I’m not sure what that information would tell me, but it’d be cool to have it anyways. I estimate it’s between 10-20Hz. High density is, of course, relative to the density your body can handle. It feels like I should be able to dump everything I have all at once but I just can’t get over some sort of threshold to let it happen. Energy training does not seem to be a good weight loss method, which is unfortunate. But can enhance other forms of physical exercise.
Energy seems to have a very direct impact on sleep. If it’s running on its own it will keep me awake at night. If I’m full I need much less sleep. If I’m low I’m extra tired for longer. Exactly why this is is completely unknown but supports the idea that sleep is somehow related to recharging energy.
It’s used as fuel for projections. Both to get me into the state and also for any magic I use in it. This can severely limit the amount of time I can spend in deep projection as energy will slowly drain just from being connected. There is a noticable dip in quality once the energy passes a certain point. This was not always true, back in 2009-2010 when I got into this by accident the first time I eventually got to a point where I could remain connected without any noticable drain on my energy, allowing me to remain more or less permanently connected at all times. As far as I can tell this was because I was eventually producing enough energy per second to compensate for the passive drain, cancelling it out. I got there by constant, daily projections as far as I can tell. But back then I was a lot more open minded about that stuff. I had a lot more reason to be as well since I was not always the one initiating projections, sometimes external entities would pull me into them for various reasons. So a lot of that practice was against my will. This was almost certainly a byproduct of being permanently connected and thus permanently “accessible”. These days I hate projection, never trust that it’s real when I try, Seems to be bad whenever it is real, and see no point spending any time doing it. Despite projection being the only method that I’ve had consistent, verified success with.
Especially thanks to poltergeisting, which has the same energy use characteristics. Suggesting that I am capable of some, in my opinion, pretty impressive feats of telekinetic strength and thus should be capable of things like flight given the weight of objects I’ve managed to move. What I’ve done in the “spirit world” has always been more technically complex than what I’ve done in the physical world, making it difficult to gauge if I’m stronger and/or have more control in one or the other. Most things seem to work the same regardless of the plane and only seem affected by my state of mind. Generally, the more “real” I think things are, the less I’m able to do. Based on this I‘m pretty confident that things work exactly as I remember them from past lives.
Meaning energy has infinite uses limited only by the amount of it you have, how good you are at controlling it, and your imagination. Applying energy in a specific way for a specific outcome is called “magic.” On one hand I should admit that my direct knowledge of what is magically possible is very limited. But past life memories give me a very linear path from very simple and weak effects to very complex and powerful ones. Best as I can tell the three most fundamental traits of magic are:
Movement- the ability to move energy with wilpower
Condensation- the ability for energy to collect in one place and gain physical density
Programming- the ability to “colour” energy with willpower to induce specific behaviours or reactions to external stimuli and retain such behaviour even after being detached from the mind. That might be a bit obtuse of an explanation, in practice you can think of this like changing the element of the energy. For example, at it’s simplest level you could program your energy to act like “fire” that heats things up when it touches them or “kinetic” energy that hits things like a solid object, etc etc.
Although it could be argued that all of these are really just the same trait, movement, I think it’s useful to split them up at least this much. Combining these three traits in different ways at different strengths allows a person to do literally anything they can imagine. Until their imagination is the only real limitiatation they had left. The rules that goverened someone doing reiki were the same rules that goverened someone creating their own universe.
I figured if this was true then it should be a simple matter of demonstrating the core fundamental effects to prove the rest. Movement was proven almost immediately after I first felt energy. Condensation was proven most definitively with the advent of poltergeisting in 2011 although my earlier work on wind and weather in 2010 could also act as proof. Programming was proven most definitevely with the Rose Rune in 2017 although proof also existed in 2010 as well.
This is very frustrating for Dreamsoap and I because we both know that I can do it. We know empirically that magic is real and that I have performed it at the strength that I want in the real world. Yet, despite that, I still can’t use it, and it’s been like this since about October 20 2015 when one of my purposeful poltergiest attempts came through where I shoved around a bunch of heavy metal deck furniture and placed two pieces in the yard as calling card to remind me that I did it. Thus proving definitively that I was indeed capable of doing these things at will to some degree provided I was in the right mental state for it. Although I’ve suspected it should be possible since about 2011 when I got my first confirmed hits on poltergeisting.
Magic, therefore, should be as simple as doing a short range poltergeist or “Local Projection”. If I can do things like flip lightswitches, turn on raidos, shove around deck furniture, knock boxes off of shelves and make self replicating energy balls from kilometers and/or weeks away then logically I should be able to do the exact same thing from only a few feet and milliseconds away. Especially since I developed the Weaver System back in 2010.
...And then I fried my entire chakra network in october 2010 and lost everything before it could really get anywhere...
There is no question that magic exists and that I can do it, nobody could convince me otherwise at this point. I’ve done far too much of it for that to be rational. The question is, why isn’t it reliable? Why can’t I just walk up to some random skeptic and make a crackling ball of energy in my hand or whatever to shut them up? What’s so different between all these things? I have more power and knowledge than I had in 2010 so what happened between then and now to make it not work?
Well... since Dreamsoap urged me not to give up on it and moved in at the end of 2013 I’ve been working on that. I came up with a 3 stage model for tracking my progress.
Stage 1: demonstratioon of accurate passive sensing abilities
Stage 2: Demonstration of direct, obvious, telekinetic or otherwise magical ability that are somewhat repeatable. Such as requiring a certain, hard to achieve mental state. Think of it like Sex Panther from Anchorman, “60% of the time, it works every time.”
Stage 3: Repeatable, on demand demonstrations of a variety of basic effects
I achieved stage 1 in December 2014 and made continual noteworthy progress towards Stage 2. I learned, thanks to the “Mother’s Day Incident” of 2015 that extreme stress combined with the belief/decision that I’d already lost and was probably about to die horribly could cause me to pull out some magic even in scenarios that I believed were real life. These “triggers” were a pattern I’d noticed many times before, both in this life and others, for myself and others. I was always at my best when I believed I’d already lost. Something about that mental state unhinged something and allowed everything to flow properly for a short time.
From that I developed the Fatalism Method to try to put me into that mental state on purpose, which worked, leading to the aforementioned deck furniture poltergeist. But, there were still many problems. What my sucesses proved was that magic at that level was possible and that I was technically capable of doing it at will, repeatably which is part of Stage 2. But… I did it through projection and time was more than a little out of synch with it. Meaning it wasn’t true Stage 2 but rather more like Stage 1.9. All the power, repeatability and obviousness of Stage 2 but without the direct in your faceness.
But I’d gotten similar strength effects from pure imagination as well, when I wasn’t even trying to or believing that I was doing anything real. Therefore, magic shouldn’t require such strong, uninducible emotions to work. There was somethintg common between the pure imagination hits and the fatalism hits that made them both work.
I determined that the commonality was my perception of the “authority” of reality. This had already been somewhat established through shared dreams and poltergeists. Dreamsoap and I had long noticed a very linear relationship between how much power, complexity, and finesse we could apply in our magic and how conscious we were in a particular dream or projection. The more “real” it seemed to us, the less magic we had. Making projections the best blend of power and control. They were easy to dismiss as just imagination… until you found out they weren’t. Hence the success of several oppourtunistic poltergeists. Stress and “giving up” seemed to reject the authority I’d given to reality about whether or not magic was real and instead focused my mind solely on my desired outcome. Therefore the solution should be to change my mentality.
During 2016 I spent time trying to figure out how to do that and what specific roles mentality and emotion had as they both seemed fundamentally neccessary. I struggled a lot with it. It wasn’t as easy as just telling myself magic existed since it wasn’t a part of my daily experience and any and all attempts at direct telekinesis failed, reinforcing the idea that magic either didn’t exist or required special training. It made me continually doubt evidence I’d gotten before and wonder if maybe somehow I was misremembering things or was just plain wrong. Even though there was good reason not to believe that. Eventually in the summer, August maybe, I asked Gold if she’d be willing to help me out. I knew I’d eventually be able to get it, but just to speed it along, it would be nice. She agreed and the next night she pulled me into a shared dream simulation she’d made. Gold’s always been my greatest source of veridical evidence for techniques and magic and this was one of those examples.
Although I understood the lesson logically, I have never truly been able to apply it properly in the real world. Partly because I lack any sort of proper context to apply it. It’s very easy when you feel like it just has to work or else. But out here in real life that’s rarely the case. Sure I could go pick a fight with a gang or something and that might give me the necessary stress to make everything work but it would probably fail. In which case I’d be lucky if I just died.
So I plugged away at it, Had the Machine Learning snap, Joined Skeptiko in the fall of 2016 to help with changing my mentality by exposing myself to other information about psi that I never knew existed, Had a couple intersting shared dreams in october and november, getting nowhere for the most part, until the end of February 2017 when Dreamsoap pulled me over to a rose plant that was sitting on a table and showed me that one of it’s stems was shaking like a metronome, getting me to feel the energy coming off of it which was definitively mine. Eventually realizing that this was the result of an earlier opportunistic poltergeist I’d done. Now known as the Rose Rune.
It was the very first time, post burnout, that I’d seen my own magic working right in front of me. It was also the most complex thing I’d done to date, it was certainly better evidence than the deckgeist was. But… it still happened during projection a week or more in the past so… not Stage 2. More like Stage 1.99.
I decided on a radical change of training regiment. I was no longer going to spend any time inducing shared dreams, doing poltergeists, or projection of any kind. I figured if I can do something like the Rose Rune, then I can do magic directly, and I vowed that the next thing I do would be hitting Stage 2. I worked on direct telekinesis again and once again got nowhere. I tried focusing on emotional healing stuff since I knew that was a major factor in all this. I got the offer for free acupuncture sessions and took it. It was amazing, it is the sole reason I am as far ahead as I am now. My entire perception turned around. I focused heavily on trying to change my perception of reality so It felt more like a dream, as per Gold’s advice. I came up with a theory that, if it’s true that it’s all about perception, then if I emotionally snap and try to use magic during that I should regain all my magic. I had doubts about this since it goes against past life experience stuff that says it’s not that simple. But at the same time I wondered if my situation was different, if maybe all I needed was the last push to let everything flow because I already have the experience and have demonstrated the ability and technique several times and several different ways in the real world. Also given the results of the Machine Learning Snap.
Well in December 2017 I had that snap, and although there was certainly more energy flow, it was interestingly bottlenecked and then outright blocked by something. It seemed like it just could not leave my body at that rate, even during a snap. At the time I concluded that it meant that the body had far too much resistance and that the reason poltergeists worked was because the energy was already outside of my body and thus lacked such resistance. A theory backed up by the issues I had during the Rose Rune among other geist experience. Past life experience seconded this, as I remembered that using a physical body incurred resistance that those using pure energy bodies did not have to deal with. But since energy bodies had a ridiculolsly huge weakness that made them not worth it (death by special EMP) we had to go through a lot of effort to modify our bodies to get rid of as much resistance as possible since by default there was quite a lot.
Since then I’ve been continuing my work. I started the new year vowing to make 2018 “the year of projection” believing that I needed to redevelop some of my lost skill in order to do short range poltergesits. However I’ve largely not done that. Instead I’ve had much more success changing the way I see the world. Going from “real” to an FTD to a hyper lucid dream to occassionally full dream states. I was amazingly able to develop a tether seemingly to my spirit body which changed my concept of how OBE’s work. More recently I’ve had several mini snaps or flashes where I will fully believe in magic and/or see the world as just a dream. During these flashes my whole approach to magic totally changes involuntarily. I can tell that there’s just no way I will be able to get results outside of that state. So my work has been focused on increasing the frequency of these flashes. On one hand I’m incredibly confident that I can do this but on the other it’s still frustrating. My hope is to finish this off as soon as possible, maybe even before the end of the year, so I can start doing real world demonstrations and teaching others. Although probably taking a bit of a vacation first.
My hope is that by sharing what I’m doing and my thought process behind it other people might glean something useful that they can apply in their own training.
"The cure for bad information is more information."
(This post was last modified: 2018-08-16, 09:22 PM by Mediochre.)
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