Moving Forward on a Different Path

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2020 was probably the most dynamic year I've ever had. It was simulataneously the most horrible, depressing and rage inducing while also being the most optimistic and productive. It was the least paranormal year so far, yet the paranormal things it did have were also incredibly important for me.


This year taught me probably the most important lessons I've needed to learn for an incredibly long time in my existence, which is to not try to help everyone, and to not try doing everything myself. But also to acknowledge that who I am as a person is someone who cares a lot about helping other people in legitimate need because I hate unfairness. And I needed to do more for myself and have fun. These aren’t new lessons for me, I’ve had lots and lots of chances with them. But something about this life forced me to learn them. Forced me down a path other than what I’d normally take. And I doubt I would’ve been able to learn any other way. I don’t think this life was set up to do this, but I do think it was opportunistically converted into a sort of philosophical detox chamber for me, probably starting around 2013.


The lockdowns and the public reaction to them was the largest trigger for that. It resulted in the greatest positive change overall. Though I do apologize for how I acted in the forum throughout that. I have done my very best to do what the spirits advised, socializing with regular people again and doing things other than magic. Their outright refusal to contact me again certainly helped with that, giving me no other options. And now I can’t deny that things have been going very well for me, even if it is just the beginning.


I now work out every day, I have a fiction book I’m writing, a game I’m programming, meditating and more. And I have friends now. I stumbled upon a possible, paradoxical method for accelarating this process. Though that would fit perfectly with the paradoxical nature magic seems to have in this world, or at least that’s how its gone for me.


In short, magic was all about achieving a certain feeling of completeeness for me, of being myself. But what that means for me is more or less helping people. And I’ve started slowly feeling like me again. I’ve wondered if continuing to do what I’m doing, and contnuing to feel more like myself, because I’m philisophically being myself, will actually lead to an emotional release that allows my energy to flow like it needs to.


I mean, it sort of worked that way when I developed induced shared dreams. You can read about that in its requisite thread. The short version is, natural shared dreams seemed to be the result of certain emotions, then when those emotions were fullfilled they went away, so the method was to induce those emotions through a different channel, which worked.


My frustration with magic kept coming from knowing that its possible, always being so close yet so far, finding evidence of other people doing what I'm trying to do, and yet somehow I of all people just couldn't get over the gap even though I had in the past. There was no reason it shouldn't be working, yet it wasn't. Deep down I’m not chasing magic because I want power from it, nor is it just like a limb that’s been amputated. I’m doing it because its literally who and what I am. I can’t be myself without it.


But it does feel like doing what I’m doing is having a rather big effect. And Its true that all my meaningful progress has come from emotional development rather than training. I can’t deny that it feels like things are going in that direction, though I’m still scared it just wont work. Nonetheless I am going to continue with what I’m doing and just see what happens.

[Laird]

Great to hear of the positive developments in your life, Mediochre. Here's wishing you a positive 2021 too.

"It is good to have an end to journey towards, but it is the journey that matters in the end"  Ursula K. LeGuin.

Great to hear of the positive developments in your life, Mediochre. Here's wishing you a positive 2021 too.

The plan currently is to just keep working on free and open source stuff. As far as I'm concerned that's the solution to the worlds problems since it includes all possible solutions, has a proven track record, and treats the solution as the entire point of the development process, not just a means for profit or something else. Open source solutions are built by and for the people who use them, so they are built to be teh absolute best possible solution for their given problem.

Its the closest thing to what I was already doing. Magic would've been a more universal solution but this is good enough for the moment. My biggest problem was probably trying to see everyone as equal and having my goal being more or less "more people alive = good". Well even if people are equal at a fundamental level, they're not in the moment. Some attitudes, beliefs systems, and personalities are simply better and more accurate than others if you want a truly free, meritocratic world where people have the opportunity to do whatever they want with their life.

The only people I believe deserve any help these days are ambitious self-starters already actively helping themselves achieve their own goals, who will work with but never for others, who value self improvement, personal responsibility, and freedom of themselves and others. The best way to help those people as far as I can tell is to just help build open source tools and other things that I personally want to use for my own projects, put them out there for free, and let the ripple effect take care of the rest. People like that will seek out and use those tools, improve them with their own changes, and repeat. Whereas those who sit around crying for a god or government to save them will take whatever others say they're allowed to have. In short, I only want to support adults, not children. I don't need to do anything to the "children" nor do I want to. all I have to do is not support them or their mindsets, they're free to grow up any time they want, and if they don't, not my problem.

Its not really that much different than what I've written on this topic before, but is somehow subtly different in a way that snowballs into a pretty big difference. I'm not really sure exactly what it is, but at the same time the problem I spent a decade solving with my own mindset was itself extremely subtle at its core. So, yeah, I guess its just the same thing in reverse. I guess its that I no longer feel any sort of obligation to do this and have no problem stopping or changing what I'm doing for no reason beyond wanting to do something else. So it feels like the best of all worlds at teh moment.

Figured I should update since I haven't been around for awhile. I got the chance to be involved in a combination course and set of parapsychology experiments which has been taking up a lot of my time. I still have a list of topics I intend to post here that I'll get to whenever I can:

Aheadjro - the second of the Big Three full transitions, happened July 15, 2014, involving me getting spirited away to, as best as I can tell, some south ameridcan country, possibly Brazil, in the year 2044 or thereabouts in which I, Teal and later ,Scarlet, worked together to overthrow the government and ultimately plunge the country into civil war over teh course of a few months. I got at least half way through before the whole 2020 lockdown thing forced me to see it in a new light as much of the police and government rhetoric, policy and otherwise that I encountered there increasingly exists here now, spiking very quickly throughout 2020. And I'm really not a fan of that.

The Model Infiltration Dream - A follow up shared dream two weeks after Aheadjro that literally only happened because Scarlet thought Aheadjro was fun and wanted to go do that again somewhere else. Notable because Teal remembered this dream but didn't remember Aheadjro in any great detail, yet also could tell that it happened as a result of something else, and we were switching roles because of it.

Unmarked -  the third of the Big Three, Happened summer of 2015, involved a self proclaimed goddess asking me to help her rig a tournament in her universe because one group was exploiting a loophole in the rules and she didn't want to make people feel like she could or would just change reality on a whim any time she felt like it as that would be detrimental to the confidence and general development of the souls there. Despite being the longest in terms of how long I was there, its also the most mundane and I expect its write up to be teh shortest. Notable for a number of reasons, some interesting particle physics things people did there, some choice words she had for me at the end, and some other stuff. I was going to post a skeleton version of it that I have ion my computer, but when I looked over it I realized even that needed some work because of how I'd chosen to write it at the time.

NIDF/NIRF - An explanation of a supposed physics phenomena that I remember from past lives, Normal Interdimensional/Interreality Flow. It was a thing that became ubiquitous in teh same way specific and general relativity has here in terms of its usefulness. I couldn't helop but notice that aspect of it had a lot of similarities to known research around remote viewing and I wanted to talk about that. It's also a pre requisite for the below topic

Yellow's muse project - I don't know what else to call this right now, but it is easily far and away the craziest of teh crazy of my paranormal life. Rather than being a single experience its a category of expereinces which Ib will have to be very careful about talking about and will be very purposefully vague about in a lot of areas. The short version is, Yellow, long, long before this life, started this whole thing where she wanted to take our groups various adventures and package them up as pure fiction to then help younger generations of souls with because she felt they could learn some things vicariously instead of making the mistakes themselves. And as best as I can tell, this life got sort of used as a beta test of that. I will not name anything, I will not point at anything, and I won't answer any questions about any guesses. But I do want to talk about the general gist behind how all this got started and the various evidence I was able to gather that as far as I'm concerned verified this as a real thing and not just the result of NIDF information flow, precognition, or wishful thinking.

I'm posting those partly to remind myself in case I forget. It'll feel good finally getting them all done. There's a whole lot more stuff I also would like to post but these are the major things that I feel are somewhat important.