Mediumship benefiting grieving

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There has been research about this topic going on for a few years now (Julie Beischel and others).

I was talking to someone recently who lost a close one abruptly, though it's been a while. This person senses and knows the departed is in the spirit world and is "around" her (sense of touch, vision, visitations in dreams). But though that is a comfort, it does not dent at all her quite prolonged and intense grieving about not having that person in flesh-and-blood in her life anymore, and how it's turned it upside down and made her lose sense of meaning in her life.

I support this research, but that's one reason I'm skeptical this will ever be a cure-all or a replacement for other types of help (for everyone).

The other reason is in relation to something Alex T. said over at Skeptiko when this topic was covered a while ago. Actually it was in an even earlier episode where he was talking about how easy it is to find out about the reality of the spirit world through mediumship, i.e. to just make an appointment with three and you should get proof. My impression, going on not much experience but a little, and reading about others', is that it's not that easy to find mediumship that's evidential, even among genuine mediums (not frauds), and I wonder what adverse affects this could have on grief. I.e. make you lose hope, tenuous belief.

Again, I'm not against this research, I've just putting these thoughts out there.

I agree. Finding proof is not always easy. That said, imho, the journey/search for it will lead to a better understanding and uncover a lot of things that might have lain undiscovered if the proof appeared quickly and comprehensively.

I've been to many Spiritualist church services where mediumship is part of the service. I've had many readings, and I've taken classes in mediumship.

Some people do not have spirits come through no matter how many times they go for a reading. Some get evidence of the spirit they want to hear from on the first try. The medium John Edward wrote in his book that he had to wait many many years before his deceased mother came through. There are no guarantees, the medium does not "call up" spirits, the medium tells you about the spirits that are present. It helps if there is a strong bond of love between the sitter and the spirit. But some spirits are not good communicators.  Sometimes there is just a lack of rapport between the spirit and the medium.

Grief is a complex emotion. Mediumship cannot replace the loss of daily interaction with a loved one. However for those who feel anguish that their loved one may no longer exist or that they may be suffering in the afterlife, mediumship can help immensely. This help can come from an evidential reading and also from learning about mediumship and the afterlife from books, videos, and observing mediumship at public demonstrations such as those given weekly at Spiritualist churches.

http://ncu9nc.blogspot.com/2012/09/skept...ptics.html

Imagine a child conceived in love, who you carried in pregnancy, gave birth to, fed from your own breast, and raised from infancy. Who you taught to walk and talk and took to their first day of school and had birthday parties for. Who you loved and who loved you and trusted you completely in their innocent childlike way. Imagine your hopes and dreams for their future. Now, imagine their life is cut short, maybe by a sudden accident or a lingering illness. Actually, you can't imagine the grief and sense of loss a parent would feel in that situation. Now try to imagine what it is like for that parent to know that their child's existence has not been cut short but that their child is living with Grandma in another plane of existence, and they can still know about each other and communicate words of love.

I've been there during Spiritualist church services and seen and heard a medium provide this comfort to people suffering from extreme grief. I knew the medium, I knew the church, I know it wasn't cold reading or hot reading and I know the information the medium gave to identify the spirit was specific, detailed, and impossible to guess by chance.

I understand it can be hard to find a good medium. You can find a list of recommended mediums here:
http://forum.mind-energy.net/forum/parap...ed-mediums


Recommended psychologists who are psychic or have experience with psychic and spiritual issues.
http://forum.mind-energy.net/forum/parap...ual-issues

There has been research about this topic going on for a few years now (Julie Beischel and others).

I was talking to someone recently who lost a close one abruptly, though it's been a while. This person senses and knows the departed is in the spirit world and is "around" her (sense of touch, vision, visitations in dreams). But though that is a comfort, it does not dent at all her quite prolonged and intense grieving about not having that person in flesh-and-blood in her life anymore, and how it's turned it upside down and made her lose sense of meaning in her life.

I support this research, but that's one reason I'm skeptical this will ever be a cure-all or a replacement for other types of help (for everyone).

The other reason is in relation to something Alex T. said over at Skeptiko when this topic was covered a while ago. Actually it was in an even earlier episode where he was talking about how easy it is to find out about the reality of the spirit world through mediumship, i.e. to just make an appointment with three and you should get proof. My impression, going on not much experience but a little, and reading about others', is that it's not that easy to find mediumship that's evidential, even among genuine mediums (not frauds), and I wonder what adverse affects this could have on grief. I.e. make you lose hope, tenuous belief.

Again, I'm not against this research, I've just putting these thoughts out there.

Not to be insensitive, but I'm thinking the best time to develop a rapport with "the other side" is before one is dealing with the grief of loss. 

For example- I'm trying to work with a cousin who's husband is walking the road of cancer, which will be the cause of has passing. She doesn't seem to be receptive, and I think in part, it is because she: a- views this as giving up on her husband, b- she is already in grief.

It seems to me that deep loss and grief presents a huge obstacle to developing the trust that there is more to our existence, and then developing the skills necessary to access it. Lacking some base trust (and belief really) in the non-physical aspect of our existence, just going to a medium, even if some evidence is uncovered, isn't usually going to counter the loss in any significant way.  

In my experience (such as the recent loss of my mother) I have found that only a deep understanding and trust in the living and dying and post death aspects of our existence, can offset the feeling of grief and loss. I found that in my case I have a deep understanding of what my mother has experienced, and what she has probably encountered after leaving our plane. I have missed her and have grieved in a much more subtle way, more about the fact that she is less accessible to me, than that she is gone and lost forever.

So the bottom line for me is: becoming familiar with these things BEFORE one's loved on is facing death or has died, is the best way to avoid the deep hole of loss. Lacking that possibility, I see two things that can help:

1- Learning more about the phases of our existence by reading books like: "Life Between Lives", "The Afterlife of Billy Fingers", "Life in a World Unseen" etc

2- Seeing a medium where hopefully some evidence is uncovered, and some closure is made.

The other reason is in relation to something Alex T. said over at Skeptiko when this topic was covered a while ago. Actually it was in an even earlier episode where he was talking about how easy it is to find out about the reality of the spirit world through mediumship, i.e. to just make an appointment with three and you should get proof. My impression, going on not much experience but a little, and reading about others', is that it's not that easy to find mediumship that's evidential, even among genuine mediums (not frauds), and I wonder what adverse affects this could have on grief. I.e. make you lose hope, tenuous belief.

If you are unprepared for the probability that there might be no contact, you may get your ego spanked. Especially if the MM is a platform (large crowd) medium like Cindy Kaza or Lisa Williams. If you don't make contact then there is no relevance for it. You may be in a state of wanting  contact but that isn't what you need and you only get what you need.

Spirit lives in a timeless state, what may seem like years to us is a flash to them. Literally, spirit has often claimed this is the case. It's not that they don't care, and they are always there when you need them, but they have their own 'lives' to lead so to speak.