Healing and open-eye visions

This was a rather different sort of journey... a breakthrough in perhaps a few ways... thank you in advance for reading.

I had the blessing of being able to acquire a microdose worth of dried Psilocybin mushrooms. My guides told that alone, the 0.5 grams wouldn't do much, so they thought a bit later that it might be good for me take it with some Syrian Rue brew to help deal with my then-currently endarkened state of mind. A bit later, after taking the Psilocybin on its own, not keen on mixing it was the brew, they decided to gently try again ~ they recommended not only the Syrian Rue brew, but Acacia Confusa brew as well. I think they saw it as an opportunity for healing, so they'd make use of the potential.

I wasn't really feeling the Psilocybin, maybe because it was a microdose... but after I took the Ayahuasca brew, there was, rather quickly, some clear closed-eye visions of me walking in a forest or jungle? I know not, but I am walking down this path. I come to this house, with a clear balcony. It has stairs going up left and right at an angle, a nice symmetrical design. I walked inside, and there was a man who greeted me. He seemed to recognize me immediately, but I didn't recognize him, with the exception that he seemed familiar, though I couldn't place it. He says, ah, you're here for that, as if he'd been told ahead of time. He gives me a concoction ~ it's a potent mushroom brew, apparently. I drink it, and he waves me away, to go off on whatever adventures I need to.

I go outside, and then I feel an impulse to... shapeshift into a phoenix ~ it seems that I am able to embody the form of my phoenix guide in that space? I fly away, over the forest. I see grand mountains. I fly through them and the forest, and feel drawn to a certain place. There is a shaman... one who I apparently studied under a few lifetimes ago, though I do not recall. We discuss happily, and then he sends me away warmly, to continue my journey.

My mind tumbles around a lot ~ the mushrooms apparently have their plans, and they're very playful, spinning me through a... shifting blocky, cubey kaleidoscope. But then... this is where the trial began, apparently. One of my angel guides comes besides me, and guides me through some mental trials of healing and cleansing. Stuff is pulled out of me bit by bit. I occasionally see tunnels, some with doors at the end. Other times, I see indescribable things.

I find myself pulled into seeming dream visions related to my friends at DnD ~ I find myself facing my fears, moments related to my doubts, lack of confidence and self-esteem. I see myself through their eyes, I see their thoughts, or perhaps I think I do... then it shifts with me having direct conversations with two of them ~ is it a dream? It feels like I'm speaking with them... are they dreaming, perhaps? First person, they're chill and fine ~ they encourage me to have faith in myself. Very down to earth and happy. Second person ~ I tell them it's a dream, and they're like, huh, yeah, I guess it is. They're a lot more laconic and casual. They also encourage me to have faith in myself, albeit with a very different personality flair. I shift through more perspectives of them. I eventually shift away from that space.

I am back in my room physically. I ponder for some moments. Then at a thought, I hear a parallel life, the bird Gooseberry, call out my name. I instantly connect with his presence in his world. It has become so... simple and easy to just connect with these parallel lives now, seemingly. He wonders at my absence ~ it's been a few months for us both ~ and he's curious about my adventures. He peers into my mind, and notes that it's been rather tough on me. I ask him how he's been, and a sort of mental sigh, he says it's difficult being a father. He doesn't get much of break, raising chicks. We talk some more about life.

But then... out of nowhere, I get an extremely and powerfully vivid closed-eye visual of coming around a corner and seeing the entrance to a tunnel of light, vivid and colourful. It's as clear as if I was seeing it with open eyes, as if I was directly there, in that space. Gooseberry is with me, but he seems shocked into silence, through our connection. But then, so am I. We travel through this long tunnel at light-speed, and we come out into a vista of sky and grassland, with a sea below.

Immediately, as we notice the Bird God, Gooseberry cries out his name. I mentally, energetically, vibrationally shudder and shake before the vivid power of the Bird God's presence. I notice that I can handle his energy better now, perhaps because the Psilocybin is supporting me...? But still, I'm quivering uncontrollably in that space, feeling like I can barely hold my thoughts and self together. The Bird God himself is an... eagle, no, a phoenix? A rainbow eagle-phoenix, made of fiery presence. He speaks clearly to us, though I do not remember much. He says he just wanted to say hi, which is kind of him. He notices me quickly tiring, struggling to stay with his presence and so he sends us both back. He says we'll meet again in time. We both sort of... sink cleanly back into Gooseberry's reality ~ I back into his physical senses, anyways. He simply stares, silently, trying to comprehend what he was witness to, and then he silently goes over his mate, Willow, then sitting beside her. She wakes gently, being roused by the presence of her parallel self, my tiger guide. We sit together, and talk happily, sharing stuff. Gooseberry gives me some advice over some my worries and doubts ~ a nice sort of therapy.

I thank them both, and we leave that space, only for me to immediately jump to the perspective another parallel life, the human Fredreich (I can't tell if I'm spelling it correctly, or whether it's just a transliteration from whatever tongue they speak in that reality...) and his hunting partner, the dragon Rose. They're immediately aware of me ~ Fredreich is watering some pot plants that he thought would be interesting. Maybe he got the idea from me... I don't know. He turns to Rose, and she's simply watching silently, through their telepathic connection. We also talk about various things, though I don't recall the specifics. Though I did learn that apparently there exist rocks or minerals in that reality that respond to telepathy...? The dragon who founded the hunter's order apparently made some that was part of the door to their quarters, though I don't understand how ~ I was just told casually that it was made so that Rose could lock or open the door to their quarters. They didn't seem to question ~ it may as well be "magic", though I guess it's not, perhaps, not really. Rose peers inside my mind, Fredreich watching curiously, and gives me some advice. I'm basically an open book to the two of them... and they don't judge me for anything, though I'm still quick to harshly judge myself...

Eventually, I also leave that space, thanking them for their wisdom. I find myself facing a tunnel again, with a door at the end. This door feels... odd, though I can't place. I'm told that it's safe for me now. I fly down the hallway and through the door. I find myself in a strange glowing room, filled with open cubicles of even more brilliantly glowing things. I get a strong feeling that this is my deep unconscious mind... and I suddenly feel tense, not feeling like I'm ready for investigating further than this. I quickly flow out, after deciding that I've seen what I can handle.

My mind returns to the blocky, cubey kaleidoscope, whirling and whirling. But that tires... and I decide to have fun with my animal guides. It seems that the Psilocybin allows me to see them clearly with open-eye visuals, with just a little focus. They're still mildly indistinct, but I can see them much more vividly now. They chat with me happily, occasionally pulling out impure energies from my body and mind ~ Shadow stuff, I suppose.

Eventually, I fade ~ it's 4am and I decide that bed is a good thing. My guides agree.

That's it for this journey-experience-trip report.

[Laird]

You might have shared the information that answers this question already, @Valmar, but if so I've forgotten what you said, so I'll ask it anyway.

In the context of NDErs describing their experiences as "realer than real", how would you describe the reality of the sort of experiences you describe above? Here are a few possibilities, but of course you don't have to choose any of them, and can supply your own:

1. Realer than real.
   
2. As real as ordinary waking reality.
   
3. Like a lucid dream: you're aware that you're both conscious and not in waking reality, but it's not the same as waking reality.
   
4. As real as a non-lucid dream except that you are lucid.
   

You might have shared the information that answers this question already, @Valmar, but if so I've forgotten what you said, so I'll ask it anyway.

In the context of NDErs describing their experiences as "realer than real", how would you describe the reality of the sort of experiences you describe above? Here are a few possibilities, but of course you don't have to choose any of them, and can supply your own:

1. Realer than real.
   
2. As real as ordinary waking reality.
   
3. Like a lucid dream: you're aware that you're both conscious and not in waking reality, but it's not the same as waking reality.
   
4. As real as a non-lucid dream except that you are lucid.
   

On reflection... there were moments all across the spectrum, though some of them are difficult to categorize properly...

1. Realer than real.

That one part involving the Bird God felt far too intense in every sense to be ordinary waking reality, especially when comparing before and after... the prelude tunnel reminded me momentarily of what NDErs describe, but never having had an NDE, I cannot claim to be able to confirm nor deny ~ I just don't know. But I remember rather vividly what it looked and felt like ~ it was the most vivid part of the journey, actually. It's the clearest CEV I've ever had, I must say... well, I guess words can only describe so much...

Actually, that brilliant silvery room also had a very strange sense to it ~ it felt realer than real, in a way that was... very disconcerting, as if I'd stumbled upon some sort of secret... it felt... not Lovecraftian, just in the sense of knowledge that might be too dangerous for my psyche if I am not prepared. I decided to just veil that place deeply from my mind, as I felt very uncomfortable the longer I spent there. I was perhaps afraid of losing my mind to unconscious aspects too strong for me. But... I was allowed a glimpse, it seems. For some... purpose? Time will tell... or not. Not going back there any time soon.

These might have taken up short spaces of time in the journey, but they left the most impact on me, I dare say.

2. As real as ordinary waking reality.

All of the parts involving interaction with the human... entities / spirits / whatever their nature there? It felt very grounded, as if I was in ordinary waking reality. The forest / jungle parts felt quite real, as if I was physically there, but it also felt dreamy in that I would skip ahead moments at a time at points.

Also, the parts involving my two parallel lives were like that too ~ I was experiencing through their senses. I was also able to unconscious shift to other sensory perspectives within that space.

3. Like a lucid dream: you're aware that you're both conscious and not in waking reality, but it's not the same as waking reality.

The dream parts involving the DnD friends were basically this. But... it's difficult to say if the DnD friends were actually there or not.

4. As real as a non-lucid dream except that you are lucid.

Would that be like something that is vague and incoherent? The usual dream-weirdness stuff? There was enough of that in the kaleidoscopic parts, where there was no coherence to speak of, just the ever-shifting nature of it. My guides found it amusing, as they'd poke through, and then the visuals of their appearances would get swept away in it.

[Laird]

Would that be like something that is vague and incoherent? The usual dream-weirdness stuff?

Yes, that's the sort of thing I meant.

It seems that the sense of reality of these experiences of yours is quite varied, which brings to mind the OBE study shared by Raimo recently, one of the takeaways of which for me was how varied OBEs are.

Yes, that's the sort of thing I meant.

It seems that the sense of reality of these experiences of yours is quite varied, which brings to mind the OBE study shared by Raimo recently, one of the takeaways of which for me was how varied OBEs are.

Interesting ~ though I cannot claim to have any close to an explicit OBE. Not in that sense. But my mind definitely went places... that I'd probably not find on this Earth.