Personal Musings on NDE Desperation

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(2020-11-22, 07:16 AM)Mediochre Wrote: It's only gotten worse since they told me, explicitly, a number of months ago, that they were going to stop talking to me because they wanted me to go socialize with people down here for awhile to re learn how to do that. I feel pretty abandoned since I'm trying to figure out all this emotional stuff and really need their help with it,

Well, if it’s any consolation, I’ve been feeling a lot of the same thing, if for different reasons. Many colleagues and friends have abandoned me, or I’ve abandoned them. Thankfully none of my close friends have shut me off and don’t look like doing so. It’s more people that I have been in contact with through forums, but I am saddened by how a few close friends appear to not want to discuss things we disagree on. 

A bigger sadness is feeling very different (it’s really thinking different about some big things)to a large section of ones fellow countrymen and women, as I do. There are however different levels to this. I recently bought a ‘recumbent trike’ which has been transformative in the short time that I’ve had it. It gives me a freedom that I have missed for the last ten years, fresh air and the ablility to choose where to go next with total freedom and no time constraints. 

I have been ‘out and about’ the town, chatting to lots of people. The bike is like having a dog, people want to ask about it, kids all stars at it and pull on their parents to ‘look at that man’s bicycle!’. Keeping the conversation light but now and then meeting someone who you connect with and is willing to discuss topics of interest with you in an open minded way. One woman I had a brief chat with yesterday quickly moved onto ‘ there’s still too many people getting too close - not social distancing!’. I smiled and ‘agreed’ with her. I just knew to say anything else would slam the door shut, and I was quite content with her having her opinion, and me mine. 

Is there no one on this side that could help you? Most of us can’t look for help elsewhere. I think that this life, for me, has largely been one that I have travelled alone. Perhaps it is that way for the majority of us, and that it is ‘totally’ alone, in a way? 

Is there any other ‘venue’ where you can express your ideas and thoughts?
Oh my God, I hate all this.   Surprise
(2020-11-22, 09:15 AM)Stan Woolley Wrote: Well, if it’s any consolation, I’ve been feeling a lot of the same thing, if for different reasons. Many colleagues and friends have abandoned me, or I’ve abandoned them. Thankfully none of my close friends have shut me off and don’t look like doing so. It’s more people that I have been in contact with through forums, but I am saddened by how a few close friends appear to not want to discuss things we disagree on. 

A bigger sadness is feeling very different (it’s really thinking different about some big things)to a large section of ones fellow countrymen and women, as I do. There are however different levels to this. I recently bought a ‘recumbent trike’ which has been transformative in the short time that I’ve had it. It gives me a freedom that I have missed for the last ten years, fresh air and the ablility to choose where to go next with total freedom and no time constraints. 

I have been ‘out and about’ the town, chatting to lots of people. The bike is like having a dog, people want to ask about it, kids all stars at it and pull on their parents to ‘look at that man’s bicycle!’. Keeping the conversation light but now and then meeting someone who you connect with and is willing to discuss topics of interest with you in an open minded way. One woman I had a brief chat with yesterday quickly moved onto ‘ there’s still too many people getting too close - not social distancing!’. I smiled and ‘agreed’ with her. I just knew to say anything else would slam the door shut, and I was quite content with her having her opinion, and me mine. 

Is there no one on this side that could help you? Most of us can’t look for help elsewhere. I think that this life, for me, has largely been one that I have travelled alone. Perhaps it is that way for the majority of us, and that it is ‘totally’ alone, in a way? 

Is there any other ‘venue’ where you can express your ideas and thoughts?

I wonder whether this reluctance to discuss points of disagreement is fear or indicative of a lack of interest in learning?
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  • Stan Woolley
(2020-11-23, 10:56 PM)Obiwan Wrote: I wonder whether this reluctance to discuss points of disagreement is fear or indicative of a lack of interest in learning?

I really don’t know, but I wish more people were less emotional when certain topics are brought up. Me included on occasion. Too much emotion makes sensible discussion almost impossible. 
I think apathy is dangerous, but then so is ignorance. And then there’s ‘a little knowledge’! I think we’re all guilty of that at times!
Oh my God, I hate all this.   Surprise
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  • Obiwan
(2020-11-22, 09:15 AM)Stan Woolley Wrote: Well, if it’s any consolation, I’ve been feeling a lot of the same thing, if for different reasons. Many colleagues and friends have abandoned me, or I’ve abandoned them. Thankfully none of my close friends have shut me off and don’t look like doing so. It’s more people that I have been in contact with through forums, but I am saddened by how a few close friends appear to not want to discuss things we disagree on. 

A bigger sadness is feeling very different (it’s really thinking different about some big things)to a large section of ones fellow countrymen and women, as I do. There are however different levels to this. I recently bought a ‘recumbent trike’ which has been transformative in the short time that I’ve had it. It gives me a freedom that I have missed for the last ten years, fresh air and the ablility to choose where to go next with total freedom and no time constraints. 

I have been ‘out and about’ the town, chatting to lots of people. The bike is like having a dog, people want to ask about it, kids all stars at it and pull on their parents to ‘look at that man’s bicycle!’. Keeping the conversation light but now and then meeting someone who you connect with and is willing to discuss topics of interest with you in an open minded way. One woman I had a brief chat with yesterday quickly moved onto ‘ there’s still too many people getting too close - not social distancing!’. I smiled and ‘agreed’ with her. I just knew to say anything else would slam the door shut, and I was quite content with her having her opinion, and me mine. 

Is there no one on this side that could help you? Most of us can’t look for help elsewhere. I think that this life, for me, has largely been one that I have travelled alone. Perhaps it is that way for the majority of us, and that it is ‘totally’ alone, in a way? 

Is there any other ‘venue’ where you can express your ideas and thoughts?

I don't think I've actually been abandoned, it just feels that way, I just get worried sometimes. The reson boils down to them needing a break, me needing to reconnect with people down here, and there being no reason to be watching me as closely as they've been because there's no danger anymore the way there was years ago. This isn't something that's come as a surprise, in the past they've taken vacations to give themselves a break. After the first one which lasted 2 months they came back far less stressed and had a bit of a different mindset on things, there's been a lot of plans for them doing an eventual permanent, or nearly permanent detachment for quite awhile. It's just that now's the best time to do it, even if I don't really like it.

There's not really any other venues I can think of but that's okay for now. Even i I don't really know what I'm doing, I'll do better figuring some of this out on my own anyways. More than likely things will turn out well.
"The cure for bad information is more information."
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  • Stan Woolley
(2020-11-23, 10:56 PM)Obiwan Wrote: I wonder whether this reluctance to discuss points of disagreement is fear or indicative of a lack of interest in learning?

Or a fear of banging one's head against a brick wall.
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  • Obiwan
(2020-11-23, 11:29 PM)Stan Woolley Wrote: I really don’t know, but I wish more people were less emotional when certain topics are brought up. Me included on occasion. Too much emotion makes sensible discussion almost impossible. 
I think apathy is dangerous, but then so is ignorance. And then there’s ‘a little knowledge’! I think we’re all guilty of that at times!

I agree that emotional reactions don’t usually help. It’s sometimes useful to pause before replying I find, if I can. Trying to understand is a good approach but sometimes one just has to rebut errors with facts. In the end there’s no point in arguing with someone who isn’t trying to learn. Especially if they know it all already.
(2020-11-24, 05:07 PM)Brian Wrote: Or a fear of banging one's head against a brick wall.

That can definitely also be true lol
(2020-11-25, 09:08 PM)Obiwan Wrote: That can definitely also be true lol

That was just Brian having a dig at me personally. He’s certain of certain things.
Oh my God, I hate all this.   Surprise
(2020-11-25, 09:20 PM)Stan Woolley Wrote: That was just Brian having a dig at me personally. He’s certain of certain things.

Ah the bliss of certainty.
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  • Stan Woolley
(2020-11-25, 09:20 PM)Stan Woolley Wrote: That was just Brian having a dig at me personally.

Actually no.  Obiwan understood that it was just another option that can put people off debating.  I don't think you have ever understood me or made the effort to understand me.

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