Since this post pulls heavily from both my alleged past life memories as well as the myriad paranormal events in this life, I’m submitting this under my standard disclaimer. Although I do admit that I personally do believe these memories and experiences, as I have many small pieces of evidence from many different areas of which the reality of them provides the most logically coherent explanation I’ve found so far. Whereas every other explanation I’ve tried leaves many holes and contradictions. I cannot present any of that evidence in an objective way that anyone can verify. Therefore, I will not claim objective reality of these memories or events to anyone nor will I expect anyone to believe or take it seriously.
I’m willing to answer any questions and will do so to the best of my ability. If I don’t know something, I’ll just say so. If you’d like to argue to me that I also should not take any of this seriously, then you are going to have to bring forward very compelling evidence that’s better than mine.
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Gold is the person I have probably mentioned on this forum the most. Her name, like the names of everyone I’ve mentioned from “the past”, whether currently incarnated or not, is a psuedonym. This post is intended to be my summary of her philosophy on life and how it was applied, my critiques and modifications of it, and related history.
She is the person I credit for teaching me magic, though this is not entirely true. Specifically, she taught the “Post Exile” me magic, which is the me I identify with the most, whereas ”Pre Exile” me had started learning on their own long before encountering anyone like her, let alone her herself. The “exile”, in short, was a legal sentence I got that was roughly equivalent to the death sentence, where the soul is depersonalized, having all memory stripped from it, and then dumped somewhere. Why this happened is a very long story that I may or may not cover elsewhere. Same with the process of how I, as of this life, got those pre exile memories back.
I first (re)met her, Post Exile, in dreams so real that I initially believed I had been physically teleported somewhere. A desolate, grey rocky wasteland. Thanks to my various paranormal expereinces this life, I now realize these were Full Transitions. Or perhaps OBE’s, I’ve never been able to figure out if those are the same thing or not. I’d like to say she offered to teach me magic, but it was more like she was telling me that I was going to learn whether I liked it or not. I would’ve been more skeptical had I not encountered someone with abilities I could only describe as magic previously in the real world.
Her method of teaching was very hands off and experience based. Her very first lesson was to first put her hand on my forehead and pump me full of energy. Admitting that normally she wouldn’t do things this way but it was to speed up the process. Then she handed me a small pebble and told me that she was going to hide herself somewhere in the area, make herself totally invisible and intangible, and that I would have to find her with intuition alone. Then I’d have to toss the pebble where I thought she was. I had one shot, and I had to be accurate. And that I wasn’t going to move on to any other lesson until I could do it. I scoffed at this because I really didn’t see how I was going to do that with just intuition.
I can’t remember if she told me this before or after, but she said that the reason she had pumped me full of energy was that even though my ability to sense energy was completely atrophied, such a large concentration of energy would be powerful enough for my body would notice some sort of shift or change. Thus waking up my energy sense and allowing me to start training it.
Night after night I ended up in that wasteland. My skepticism gave way to necessity, or maybe a sort of defeat, and I started trying to listen to my intuition, and following it. Despite feeling like it was all very silly. But after 2 or 3 months of that I eventually found that I could feel her presence like a sort of radiating heat or pressure that I could track, or at least that’s what I started to believe. Then I walked to the spot it felt like it was all originating, tossed the pebble, and she reappeared.
That was my first introduction to her teaching style. To her, magic was incredibly individual, probably the purest possible expression of self there was. That what constitues the self was so tiny and insignificant that it effectively didn’t exist. You thoughts and feelings were reactions to the environment, fed to you by a body that was nothing but a product of that same environment. You, your beliefs, likes, dislikes, everything about you, were nothing but a result.
Magic, however, could be used to change your environment. Thus you could take that tiny insignificant thing that is truly you, and expand it outwards until you were no longer a product of the environment, but that it was a product of you. Leading to the saying of hers that I’ve repeated a number of times on this forum.
“That which can be given can be taken away, because it’s owned by the giver not the receiver. So you give to yourself through your training, knowledge and experience.”
Pretty sure that’s now the exact quote, but that doesn’t matter.
She focused on combat, not just for its practical martial applications, though that was important, but because it was applied self respect. Drawing a sharp line between what you are and what you’re not against the environment, the border of your self, then defending and expanding that line effectively. Mentally, emotionally and physically.
She believed that static drills and formal, top down education was poisonous. In order for a student to truly learn, they had to create the solution from scratch themselves. In that way they learned not just what to do and how to do it, but why to do it, and why not to do something else. This knowledge would be genuine, and truly the student’s. Not just a series of memorized steps followed robotically because “teacher said so”, but the result of first hand experience. Besides, anyone can learn a skill, no matter how technical. What really mattered was their willpower, how far they were willing to go to win, how much they cared. Someone who genuinely wanted to learn didn’t need to be taught, only guided. She didn’t need to teach you how to block, you’d figure it out after you got tired of getting punched in the face.
She taught typically with a combination of lots and lots of sparring and setting up scenarios, often without my knowledge or consent, that she designed to be solvable only by doing the one thing she was trying to teach. And the scenario would continue until I figured it out. I had a lot of arguments with her about this, since I didn’t like being thrown into these things against my will and sometimes without even knowing it was some sort of test or training. The Mentality Training Sim in this life is a textbook example of this. Her standard defense was that if I knew what the test was, or that it was even a test, I would not respond to it genuinely, so I would not learn genuinely either. Along with some version of “I’m the teacher so deal with it”.
She wasn’t really big on giving praise or encouragement, since the student shouldn’t be working for the teacher’s approval, they should be working to become more skilled. So she just wouldn’t give much feedback beyond confirming or denying if you did something right if that was applicable.
As much as I got annoyed at it, I can’t argue with the results. I do think her method of teaching is straight up better provided the student genuinely wants to learn in the first place. At least with a few adjustements, like maybe not signing students up for things against their will or causing them to wake up in strange places with no memory of how they got there or what’s going on.
She claimed that, because the dream was so real, my body wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between it and reality. So any training I did there would be mirrored in my physical body, at least to a degree, and I’d eventually start being able to do this stuff in the real world too. Though, because it wasn’t a 100% mirror, there would be errors in my physical body’s version of things.
For example, in the dream I might be working my muscles and feeling them get sore as if the fibers were tearing, and my nerves in both bodies would take that information and react accordingly. But because no fibers actually tore, the way my nerves and other bits would rebuild or restructure would be off, and I’d need to practice in waking life in order to correct them.
In hindisight I realize it worked like an incredibly super potent and controlled form of guided athletic visualization, which we know really does affect your nervous system and improve performance. But at the time I did not believe any of it in the slightest. I took it all as just being in the dream. But, eventually, she was proven right. I also got to freak out for awhile when I met her in real life and learned she was a real physical person and that many other things that I thought were crazy were also real. So that was fun.
She used to say that your friends were a part of you, and you could tell because when they get hurt, you get hurt. She expanded this idea out to include everyone, as if you were connected to them in the same way. Care about everyone as if they’re a friend, or try to.
To her, learning a skill obligated you to use that skill to help people. And since she taught you, you will go out and you will use your skills to help people. Her knowledge, her rules, that’s the deal. If you don’t like that, fuck you. You can go teach yourself how to be a thug all by yourself somewhere else. And if you misuse what she taught you, she’ll kill you herself.
One of the most interesting contrasts between her mindset and what I’ve encountered in this life actually came from a martial arts studio. When they taught weapon defense their rules were to first, run if at all possible, and if you can’t run, give the attacker whatever tehy wanted and hope they don’t attack you, if that fails then try to even the odds by grabbing a weapon of your own, then get your heart out of the way, and if you manage to get their weapon away from them, don’t lose control of it.
Gold’s version was almost the exact opposite. If someone aggressively waved some “power” around, it was your job to kill them. The more powerful they were, the more they needed to die. If they flee, hunt them down, and only retreat if you can’t handle them. Because if you just run away or give them what they want, you’ve just taught them that all they have to do is be a little intimidating and they can get whatever they want. And when they inevitably pop up somewhere else and do the same thing or hurt someone, that’s your fault because you didn’t kill them when you had the chance.
This is where things gets a little blurry, because this is about the approach to law in the area she lived, which she did seem to agree with and was tasked with upholding and enforcing. And given her position at the time she certainly would’ve had a lot of influence in how things were done. But it’s arguable that it wasn’t really her philosophy but was a confluence of political bullshit combined with her own ideas and neccessity. I don’t really want to go into too much detail about this right now.
The approach to law was, in short, to kill anyone who ever lashed out aggressively with violence at anyone else. It didn’t matter why they did it, just that they did it. It was seen as evidence that the person lost control of themselves. She said she saw it as deadheading flowers. If you got rid the troublemakers, then society would bloom into something beautiful.
Though it seems tyranical and draconian, this was a product of the society around her, which people on this forum would likely characterize as being on a spiritual plane. I wouldn’t, but its an analogy that people might be able to relate to slightly better. Death in and of itself was inconsequential, though it could be part of far worse things... like having your soul depersonalised... among other things. But death alone meant about as much as dying in a videogame, everyone knew you’d just respawn somewhere as reincarnation was widely understood and observed. In some cases people would seemingly pop back into existence after a period of time, as if reformed out of raw energy or something without suffering the amnesia associated with physical reincarnation, or at least a much, much milder version of it. As well as a place where magic, I.e the manipulation of energy for physical effects, was a very normal part of life.
This was where my dissagreements come in, at least one facet of them. After awhile of being a part of this, I saw this method as really innefficient to say the least. Especially whenever it got applied to people living in places like here. Basically, my issue was, if someone’s done something wrong, you should probably tell them what it is and why its wrong and give them a chance to learn from their mistake. Otherwise, if you kill them, they might not remember the next time. This was especially true if the person was native to a place like this, where incarnation amnesia was more the norm. But It wasn’t uncommon at all for someone “up there” to reincarnate somewhere “down here” after they died. So even they might just make the same mistake again without even realizing it, and that’s not their fault.
From my perspective you should try to disable an attacker, not kill them. Because so long as they can no longer attack, they’re no longer a threat. Explain their transgression, and give them a chance to change, with a threat that if you catch them doing the same thing again for the same reasons, then they’re dead. When I started doing this I found that the vast majority of people weren’t actually bad, they’re usually dealing with a lot of their own trauma and they went down some dark paths with it. Sometimes they have no idea they’ve done this, because it happened so slowly over such a long time, and it’s not until you beat them to the ground that the routine they’ve been living in for the last however long gets disrupted and they finally realize what they’ve been doing.
The most common actual trouble makers were usually some form of moralist who thinks they’re “good”. Which justifies their actions in their mind, despite it typically being the exact same thing they claim to be fighting against, making them a hypocrite. But once you shove that in their face they sometimes change too. Rarely you’d come across someone who was completely self aware of what they were doing and just didn’t care.
The argument against my method was that it was too dangerous. For your own safety and effectiveness you should just go straight for the kill each time. Otherwise while you’re dicking around trying to avoid doing any damage while disarming them or equivalent they could just take you out and get away. Also it didn’t matter if there was incarnation amnesia, because if you get rid of all the unstable people, then the society changes, and when the person reincarnates they’re doing so in what is supposedly a better psychological environment where they’re less likely to have to live through anything that would make them unstable in the first place.
My argument against that was, if your goal is to help the community, not communicating these sorts of things, especially to communities who don’t know how any of this works, makes you come across as draconian assholes. Especially if you show up using abilities they don’t even understand. You take out one person who might’ve genuinely been causing trouble, but now you’ve made everyone scared of you, thinking you’re gods or angels or something, or seeking revenge depending on the circumstances, and probably created ten other people you’ll have to fight later. So you’re not neccessarily helping to change the community into something better, not influenced by those supposedly bad elements.
The argument against me was, basically, who cares? So long as no one acts out its all good. Things would work out, people would learn about death and all that eventually, and things will turn out okay in the end. It’s not worth the danger to yourself, and subsequently others, to overcomplicate it. I don’t really know where I stand on this sometimes, I still prefer my method, but I think about it a lot.
I at first wanted to characterise her ideas as “stoicism++” because it emphasised emotional control, but for the purpose of getting what you wanted, rather than rolling over and taking things passively like stocism more or less promotes. But thanks to a youtube channel called Academy of Ideas, I think her ideas at the time were far closer to Nietzsche’s.
Hopefully someone finds this helpful or at least interesting.
(This post was last modified: 2019-12-17, 06:59 PM by Mediochre.)
I’m willing to answer any questions and will do so to the best of my ability. If I don’t know something, I’ll just say so. If you’d like to argue to me that I also should not take any of this seriously, then you are going to have to bring forward very compelling evidence that’s better than mine.
...
...
...
Gold is the person I have probably mentioned on this forum the most. Her name, like the names of everyone I’ve mentioned from “the past”, whether currently incarnated or not, is a psuedonym. This post is intended to be my summary of her philosophy on life and how it was applied, my critiques and modifications of it, and related history.
She is the person I credit for teaching me magic, though this is not entirely true. Specifically, she taught the “Post Exile” me magic, which is the me I identify with the most, whereas ”Pre Exile” me had started learning on their own long before encountering anyone like her, let alone her herself. The “exile”, in short, was a legal sentence I got that was roughly equivalent to the death sentence, where the soul is depersonalized, having all memory stripped from it, and then dumped somewhere. Why this happened is a very long story that I may or may not cover elsewhere. Same with the process of how I, as of this life, got those pre exile memories back.
I first (re)met her, Post Exile, in dreams so real that I initially believed I had been physically teleported somewhere. A desolate, grey rocky wasteland. Thanks to my various paranormal expereinces this life, I now realize these were Full Transitions. Or perhaps OBE’s, I’ve never been able to figure out if those are the same thing or not. I’d like to say she offered to teach me magic, but it was more like she was telling me that I was going to learn whether I liked it or not. I would’ve been more skeptical had I not encountered someone with abilities I could only describe as magic previously in the real world.
Her method of teaching was very hands off and experience based. Her very first lesson was to first put her hand on my forehead and pump me full of energy. Admitting that normally she wouldn’t do things this way but it was to speed up the process. Then she handed me a small pebble and told me that she was going to hide herself somewhere in the area, make herself totally invisible and intangible, and that I would have to find her with intuition alone. Then I’d have to toss the pebble where I thought she was. I had one shot, and I had to be accurate. And that I wasn’t going to move on to any other lesson until I could do it. I scoffed at this because I really didn’t see how I was going to do that with just intuition.
I can’t remember if she told me this before or after, but she said that the reason she had pumped me full of energy was that even though my ability to sense energy was completely atrophied, such a large concentration of energy would be powerful enough for my body would notice some sort of shift or change. Thus waking up my energy sense and allowing me to start training it.
Night after night I ended up in that wasteland. My skepticism gave way to necessity, or maybe a sort of defeat, and I started trying to listen to my intuition, and following it. Despite feeling like it was all very silly. But after 2 or 3 months of that I eventually found that I could feel her presence like a sort of radiating heat or pressure that I could track, or at least that’s what I started to believe. Then I walked to the spot it felt like it was all originating, tossed the pebble, and she reappeared.
That was my first introduction to her teaching style. To her, magic was incredibly individual, probably the purest possible expression of self there was. That what constitues the self was so tiny and insignificant that it effectively didn’t exist. You thoughts and feelings were reactions to the environment, fed to you by a body that was nothing but a product of that same environment. You, your beliefs, likes, dislikes, everything about you, were nothing but a result.
Magic, however, could be used to change your environment. Thus you could take that tiny insignificant thing that is truly you, and expand it outwards until you were no longer a product of the environment, but that it was a product of you. Leading to the saying of hers that I’ve repeated a number of times on this forum.
“That which can be given can be taken away, because it’s owned by the giver not the receiver. So you give to yourself through your training, knowledge and experience.”
Pretty sure that’s now the exact quote, but that doesn’t matter.
She focused on combat, not just for its practical martial applications, though that was important, but because it was applied self respect. Drawing a sharp line between what you are and what you’re not against the environment, the border of your self, then defending and expanding that line effectively. Mentally, emotionally and physically.
She believed that static drills and formal, top down education was poisonous. In order for a student to truly learn, they had to create the solution from scratch themselves. In that way they learned not just what to do and how to do it, but why to do it, and why not to do something else. This knowledge would be genuine, and truly the student’s. Not just a series of memorized steps followed robotically because “teacher said so”, but the result of first hand experience. Besides, anyone can learn a skill, no matter how technical. What really mattered was their willpower, how far they were willing to go to win, how much they cared. Someone who genuinely wanted to learn didn’t need to be taught, only guided. She didn’t need to teach you how to block, you’d figure it out after you got tired of getting punched in the face.
She taught typically with a combination of lots and lots of sparring and setting up scenarios, often without my knowledge or consent, that she designed to be solvable only by doing the one thing she was trying to teach. And the scenario would continue until I figured it out. I had a lot of arguments with her about this, since I didn’t like being thrown into these things against my will and sometimes without even knowing it was some sort of test or training. The Mentality Training Sim in this life is a textbook example of this. Her standard defense was that if I knew what the test was, or that it was even a test, I would not respond to it genuinely, so I would not learn genuinely either. Along with some version of “I’m the teacher so deal with it”.
She wasn’t really big on giving praise or encouragement, since the student shouldn’t be working for the teacher’s approval, they should be working to become more skilled. So she just wouldn’t give much feedback beyond confirming or denying if you did something right if that was applicable.
As much as I got annoyed at it, I can’t argue with the results. I do think her method of teaching is straight up better provided the student genuinely wants to learn in the first place. At least with a few adjustements, like maybe not signing students up for things against their will or causing them to wake up in strange places with no memory of how they got there or what’s going on.
She claimed that, because the dream was so real, my body wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between it and reality. So any training I did there would be mirrored in my physical body, at least to a degree, and I’d eventually start being able to do this stuff in the real world too. Though, because it wasn’t a 100% mirror, there would be errors in my physical body’s version of things.
For example, in the dream I might be working my muscles and feeling them get sore as if the fibers were tearing, and my nerves in both bodies would take that information and react accordingly. But because no fibers actually tore, the way my nerves and other bits would rebuild or restructure would be off, and I’d need to practice in waking life in order to correct them.
In hindisight I realize it worked like an incredibly super potent and controlled form of guided athletic visualization, which we know really does affect your nervous system and improve performance. But at the time I did not believe any of it in the slightest. I took it all as just being in the dream. But, eventually, she was proven right. I also got to freak out for awhile when I met her in real life and learned she was a real physical person and that many other things that I thought were crazy were also real. So that was fun.
She used to say that your friends were a part of you, and you could tell because when they get hurt, you get hurt. She expanded this idea out to include everyone, as if you were connected to them in the same way. Care about everyone as if they’re a friend, or try to.
To her, learning a skill obligated you to use that skill to help people. And since she taught you, you will go out and you will use your skills to help people. Her knowledge, her rules, that’s the deal. If you don’t like that, fuck you. You can go teach yourself how to be a thug all by yourself somewhere else. And if you misuse what she taught you, she’ll kill you herself.
One of the most interesting contrasts between her mindset and what I’ve encountered in this life actually came from a martial arts studio. When they taught weapon defense their rules were to first, run if at all possible, and if you can’t run, give the attacker whatever tehy wanted and hope they don’t attack you, if that fails then try to even the odds by grabbing a weapon of your own, then get your heart out of the way, and if you manage to get their weapon away from them, don’t lose control of it.
Gold’s version was almost the exact opposite. If someone aggressively waved some “power” around, it was your job to kill them. The more powerful they were, the more they needed to die. If they flee, hunt them down, and only retreat if you can’t handle them. Because if you just run away or give them what they want, you’ve just taught them that all they have to do is be a little intimidating and they can get whatever they want. And when they inevitably pop up somewhere else and do the same thing or hurt someone, that’s your fault because you didn’t kill them when you had the chance.
This is where things gets a little blurry, because this is about the approach to law in the area she lived, which she did seem to agree with and was tasked with upholding and enforcing. And given her position at the time she certainly would’ve had a lot of influence in how things were done. But it’s arguable that it wasn’t really her philosophy but was a confluence of political bullshit combined with her own ideas and neccessity. I don’t really want to go into too much detail about this right now.
The approach to law was, in short, to kill anyone who ever lashed out aggressively with violence at anyone else. It didn’t matter why they did it, just that they did it. It was seen as evidence that the person lost control of themselves. She said she saw it as deadheading flowers. If you got rid the troublemakers, then society would bloom into something beautiful.
Though it seems tyranical and draconian, this was a product of the society around her, which people on this forum would likely characterize as being on a spiritual plane. I wouldn’t, but its an analogy that people might be able to relate to slightly better. Death in and of itself was inconsequential, though it could be part of far worse things... like having your soul depersonalised... among other things. But death alone meant about as much as dying in a videogame, everyone knew you’d just respawn somewhere as reincarnation was widely understood and observed. In some cases people would seemingly pop back into existence after a period of time, as if reformed out of raw energy or something without suffering the amnesia associated with physical reincarnation, or at least a much, much milder version of it. As well as a place where magic, I.e the manipulation of energy for physical effects, was a very normal part of life.
This was where my dissagreements come in, at least one facet of them. After awhile of being a part of this, I saw this method as really innefficient to say the least. Especially whenever it got applied to people living in places like here. Basically, my issue was, if someone’s done something wrong, you should probably tell them what it is and why its wrong and give them a chance to learn from their mistake. Otherwise, if you kill them, they might not remember the next time. This was especially true if the person was native to a place like this, where incarnation amnesia was more the norm. But It wasn’t uncommon at all for someone “up there” to reincarnate somewhere “down here” after they died. So even they might just make the same mistake again without even realizing it, and that’s not their fault.
From my perspective you should try to disable an attacker, not kill them. Because so long as they can no longer attack, they’re no longer a threat. Explain their transgression, and give them a chance to change, with a threat that if you catch them doing the same thing again for the same reasons, then they’re dead. When I started doing this I found that the vast majority of people weren’t actually bad, they’re usually dealing with a lot of their own trauma and they went down some dark paths with it. Sometimes they have no idea they’ve done this, because it happened so slowly over such a long time, and it’s not until you beat them to the ground that the routine they’ve been living in for the last however long gets disrupted and they finally realize what they’ve been doing.
The most common actual trouble makers were usually some form of moralist who thinks they’re “good”. Which justifies their actions in their mind, despite it typically being the exact same thing they claim to be fighting against, making them a hypocrite. But once you shove that in their face they sometimes change too. Rarely you’d come across someone who was completely self aware of what they were doing and just didn’t care.
The argument against my method was that it was too dangerous. For your own safety and effectiveness you should just go straight for the kill each time. Otherwise while you’re dicking around trying to avoid doing any damage while disarming them or equivalent they could just take you out and get away. Also it didn’t matter if there was incarnation amnesia, because if you get rid of all the unstable people, then the society changes, and when the person reincarnates they’re doing so in what is supposedly a better psychological environment where they’re less likely to have to live through anything that would make them unstable in the first place.
My argument against that was, if your goal is to help the community, not communicating these sorts of things, especially to communities who don’t know how any of this works, makes you come across as draconian assholes. Especially if you show up using abilities they don’t even understand. You take out one person who might’ve genuinely been causing trouble, but now you’ve made everyone scared of you, thinking you’re gods or angels or something, or seeking revenge depending on the circumstances, and probably created ten other people you’ll have to fight later. So you’re not neccessarily helping to change the community into something better, not influenced by those supposedly bad elements.
The argument against me was, basically, who cares? So long as no one acts out its all good. Things would work out, people would learn about death and all that eventually, and things will turn out okay in the end. It’s not worth the danger to yourself, and subsequently others, to overcomplicate it. I don’t really know where I stand on this sometimes, I still prefer my method, but I think about it a lot.
I at first wanted to characterise her ideas as “stoicism++” because it emphasised emotional control, but for the purpose of getting what you wanted, rather than rolling over and taking things passively like stocism more or less promotes. But thanks to a youtube channel called Academy of Ideas, I think her ideas at the time were far closer to Nietzsche’s.
Hopefully someone finds this helpful or at least interesting.
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