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Sunday School - A Short Story
#1
If anyone here likes fiction and is interested in reading my very first attempt at a short story, please enjoy at the link below and leave me some feedback - constructive criticism is welcome. For years I've entertained the idea that I'd like to write some fiction - someday. Well I finally decided it was time to quit putting it off, so I set a goal for myself of three short stories by Christmas and this is the first. 

The story is based on some actual experiences of mine teaching Sunday school to 5-year-olds. (Kids playing with Legos happens to be a near perfect microcosm revealing all of humanity's problems.)

Relating to this forum, the story contains a vision/out of body experience, and various allegorical philosophical stuff regarding creation and destruction and Gnosticism.

https://simcah.wordpress.com/2017/08/29/sunday-school/


Excerpt:
Quote:“Joseph! You should SHARE!”

Joseph stiffened at Noah’s repeated rebuke. The lesson of the day had not been lost on Joseph and Noah’s remonstrance was somewhat effective. Joseph too had felt deeply inspired by the puppet songs, the gold stars, and the endless trance inducing clapping to commit to a higher path – a noble life of sharing taxes, but Joseph did not look up or even acknowledge Noah’s presence. Joseph sat stoically stacking Legos from his dwindling pile. Joseph did not want to make a deal with Noah and he hardened himself against any emotional reaction to Noah’s manipulations. Joseph was engaged in his own serious project and he too felt the tyranny of the clock as Sunday school was rapidly nearing its end. Joseph’s project was just as monumental and important as Noah’s – possibly more so. Joseph was constructing a gun – a very large and very serious next generation super-weapon. The barrel was high caliber. The magazine capacity was infinity. The scope could zoom for miles, and every guided round exploded upon impact raining untold devastation upon the enemy. There was only one problem: he had yet to complete the trigger assembly and he was about to run out of Legos.
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#2
Nice stuff, Hurm. I love the subtle humour throughout the piece.
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#3
(09-06-2017, 01:14 AM)Laird Wrote: Nice stuff, Hurm. I love the subtle humour throughout the piece.

Thanks Smile
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