His Mood Changed and Our Marriage Imploded. Then He Took a Blood Test.
Lizzie Garrett Mettler
Lizzie Garrett Mettler
Quote:As things returned to normal, the pressure to stay happy nagged at me. When a disagreement came up about childcare or schedules or finances, I caught myself watching him like a specimen and filing any marital complaints quietly to myself. Any potential conflict was quickly ceded, usually by me, because he was cured, so we were happy, so everything had to be fine, forever. But no marriage can rely on biology alone. We had to remember and relearn that it was normal for us to have fights, even stormy blowups.
It’s been eight months since the surgery, and the lightness and laughter between us remains. I still wonder about how neat and tidy this has all been, if it’s possible we both rallied around the same narrative of a blood test saving our marriage, and in doing so made it truer than it actually was.
But maybe that doesn’t matter. Maybe he feels better now, and we were given a gift to offload all the blame, frustration and resentment onto a disease no one was responsible for. Maybe the therapy and all the other efforts came together at the same time. But when I glimpse his scar across the bottom of his neck it makes me smile with gratitude. Paris wouldn't have been the magic pill we needed. It took sweat and tears to reset us, but mostly a blood test.
'Historically, we may regard materialism as a system of dogma set up to combat orthodox dogma...Accordingly we find that, as ancient orthodoxies disintegrate, materialism more and more gives way to scepticism.'
- Bertrand Russell
- Bertrand Russell