What should forum policy be on defamatory posts?

[Laird]

For the record Kamarling, you are the reason I am leaving, you and the support you got for that post.

Don't forget the support you got in response:

Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)

ww

Compassionate words which I'd encourage you to take to heart. Hardly any of us is perfectly consistent all of the time. Kamarling pointed out an example of inconsistency - that's reasonable. It doesn't make you a bad person, it doesn't mean you're not liked and valued on the forum (you are). Stick around and keep on contributing - or take a break and come back. It's OK, Brian.

Don't forget the support you got in response:


Compassionate words which I'd encourage you to take to heart. Hardly any of us is perfectly consistent all of the time. Kamarling pointed out an example of inconsistency - that's reasonable. It doesn't make you a bad person, it doesn't mean you're not liked and valued on the forum (you are). Stick around and keep on contributing - or take a break and come back. It's OK, Brian.

I think when people point out inconsistency it is unkind in general. Who, in their heart of hearts is consistent from moment to moment?

[Laird]

I think when people point out inconsistency it is unkind in general. Who, in their heart of hearts is consistent from moment to moment?

Fair enough, Chuck.

Fair enough, Chuck.

You sure? You think the choice of the word "unkind" is fair?

May as well shut this forum down now for fear of people being so unkind as to point out inconsistencies one way or the other. This conversation has become bizarre.

[Laird]

You sure? You think the choice of the word "unkind" is fair?

May as well shut this forum down now for fear of people being so unkind as to point out inconsistencies one way or the other. This conversation has become bizarre.

I think it's a fair enough opinion for Chuck to hold. I don't necessarily endorse it, but I can see how a person could fairly hold it.

Only I know my motives and they were certainly not malicious. I happen to have some sympathy for Brian - sometimes forums can seem pretty heartless places but I'm in the process of learning that not everyone who disagrees with me hates me. I can also be inconsistent and I would expect to have that pointed out if one statement went counter to a position I had been strongly maintaining. It can sting a little when that happens and sometimes I also feel like just jumping out of the fray and leaving it to those with thicker skins. As I said, I've done so in the past but have come back again. I'm sure that Brian will do likewise.

 I happen to have some sympathy for Brian - sometimes forums can seem pretty heartless places but I'm in the process of learning that not everyone who disagrees with me hates me.

Forgive my incredulity Kamarling, but do you really mean to use the word 'hate'? There are friends of mine that have beliefs that I very strongly disagree with, but the word hate is one that I just can never see me using to describe how I feel about them. Even people that I see as doing evil deeds, like Jihadi John, or Jimmy Saville, I really don't think I hate anyone. This probably sounds very 'righteous', it isn't meant to be. 

I have recently been thinking a lot about my own weaknesses, wondering how I should or might act or think when someone I know does something I disapprove of, or wouldn't do myself. Should we ignore 'bad behaviour' as we see it? 

To be honest I can only ever see me using such a word to express strong dislike of an inanimate object, in a light hearted way, "I hate that colour" or "I hate these bloody new shoes" or the taste of something I dislike or suchlike. I might say, in the heat of the moment, "I hate that guy!" when watching someone that stirs emotion, like some politicians, or to give an example where I might use the word; The Fu-fighters were being interviewed last week on the BBC breakfast show, talking about meeting Prince Harry shortly before going on stage. One of them expressed how tired he felt, as they'd very recently 'got off a plane'. Harry suddenly and totally unexpectedly slapped him across the cheek! Waking him up, or something.

I hated this act!!!Still do, it raises my hackles. I though I liked Harry, this changed my opinion. 

They made light of the slap, as some might expect. Just young guys together having a laugh, but I could write a lot about this. I won't, but it must tell me something about myself. I feel the emotion again now, writing about it. This is about as good an example of me hating something as I can think of.

Sorry for the off topic, I found this really interesting. Thanks K.

Forgive my incredulity Kamarling, but do you really mean to use the word 'hate'? There are friends of mine that have beliefs that I very strongly disagree with, but the word hate is one that I just can never see me using to describe how I feel about them.

No, of course I don't mean it literally. Just being sloppy with my vocabulary. As we both know, interactions can be misinterpreted and become heated. Sometimes I might sense anger where there is none. Sometimes I might react to a perceived insult that was never intended. But, no, the word hate wasn't meant literally.

I see as doing evil deeds, like Jihadi John, or Jimmy Saville, I really don't think I hate anyone.

I used to be the same until I moved into a bedsit between two people who were beating, raping and mentally abusing their partners.  I learned from that that I am not beyond hatred.  I even said to one of them, as I was convinced my feelings were against God, "I'll see you in Hell!"  Truth is that no matter what your general morals are, you may find exceptions to them.  In my book, Pssst is an exception because he has no wish to listen to other people - he would rather continue to behave as though he were an authority on everything.  I didn't deserve to be brought up on that, end of story.  You can try and justify your motives all you like Kamarling but you posted what you posted to have a dig.   I am grateful for any genuine support I have got but it is not enough - not by a long shot - besides which, words are easy and I will soon be forgotten. 

I have left a few posts up in threads for the sake of continuity but in most, the continuity will have to come from people quoting me.  It's highly doubtful I'll be back.

THE END

I thought the purpose of this forum was discussion? I guess pointing out contradiction could be done in an unkind way but not doing it isn’t helping anyone as far as I can see. Someone else pointing out seeming contradictions (as long as they’re relevant) politely is a good way to reassess what we think and learn isn’t? In fact it’s the point of debate isn’t it?

The debate here has been, generally, pretty polite really (though there have been exceptions) by online discussion standards as far as I can see.

If I really can’t stand being challenged (and some days I’m not in the mood for it) then I don’t post, or wait until I am.